


Moments of Claire-ity

by hawaiigal52



Series: Annum Cara Series [4]
Category: Ugly Betty
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-29 21:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawaiigal52/pseuds/hawaiigal52
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disclaimer: I don’t own Ugly Betty! (Or Claire)</p><p>A/N: I’ve been thinking about doing a story featuring Claire outside the small, yet important role we see her in as Daniel’s mother for a long time. I feel like I really know this woman. I want to get inside her head and see what made her crack and how she managed to put herself back together again. If you prefer to read only Daniel and Betty (and normally, I do, too), I won’t be offended if you skip this story. It’s just going to be a series of little one-shots. At this point, I don’t know if I have a unified story, really. I’m just writing this as more or less Claire’s point-of-view, and a combination of memories, along with her ‘current’ observations of her son and his new family, once she snaps back to present day, which is set post-series, in my previous story, “My Place or Yours”. I thought about calling this the ‘Annum Cara chronicles’ but decided on moments of ‘Clair-ity’. I know; I’m a dork! Lol! Here’s the first bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Claire Jensen knew a good thing when she saw it. Or in this case, him. There had been a young man she saw more and more frequently ever since her wealthy aunt had sent her to her country club for tennis lessons that summer, when she was only seventeen. 

He had a good body and the most piercing blue eyes she’d ever seen. He was middle class, maybe even poor, since she knew he was working as a caddy. But she saw greatness in those haunting blue eyes of his. A hunger, that both excited and frightened her a bit.

 

She had only dated a few boys from school, and fooled around a bit with a college freshman when she first noticed the man that was destined to change her life. To ruin it, some might say, those like her son, Daniel, for example, who had never really understood his father’s stern, demanding nature.

 

Her daughter, Alexis, also hated her father so much, she tried to have him killed, not to mention, faked her own death…as their son Alex and returned two years later as the woman she now was, only to have her father thrown in jail for murdering his mistress. A crime Claire herself had actually committed.

 

When she really thought about it, she had spent many of the thirty-eight years of her marriage alternately hating and loving the man, herself. She loved him for giving her two wonderful sons, Alex and Daniel, both of whom she loved dearly. 

 

She loved the life he had tried to provide for them. But ever since he hired that bitch, Fey Sommers, and even before that, as he spent more and more time away from home, at the office, she began to feel him slip away. Their once deep and intense love had slowly began to fade, and in its place, grew bitterness and regret. 

 

Claire had her own guilt and regrets, of course. Times when she had blacked out and ended up in bed with Bradford’s former friend, Cal Hartley. To make matters worse, Cal was married to one of Claire’s (former) best friend’s, Victoria. 

 

Cal had been there for Claire, consoling her yet again when she drank, out of loneliness, she sometimes had a pity party, trying to figure out what she had done wrong to drive Bradford away. 

 

Daniel was only twelve at the time, right before she saw those damned pictures that woman had put in her magazine of herself, to taunt Claire. That had caused Claire to have a complete melt-down.

 

Cal had been the one to find her, to try and calm her down. He had helped put out the fire she set, and taken Claire’s two boys to a neighbor’s to spend the night, although Daniel seemed upset, somehow sensing things in their seemingly happy family life were about to change dramatically.

 

More and more, Cal became her confidante and eventually, her lover. She didn’t mean for it to happen. She certainly didn’t feel what she and Cal were doing was right, even though Bradford had been having one affair after another, most notably with Fey, of course, that still didn’t justify her own behavior. Two wrongs didn’t make a right. 

 

Claire’s own shortcomings only further fueled her to continue on the path to self-destruction. Her own guilt caused her to drink more and when Bradford felt too guilty for his philandering ways to leave her, because he knew deep down he was the main reason for her depression…well, it was a downward spiral for both of them.

 

Then she found out about the ‘accident’. Her baby. Bradford hadn’t touched her in months, so he would know it wasn’t his. Not that she could have lied about it. She told Cal and he had been far from supportive. 

 

He simply told her to ‘get rid of it’. “It?” She had lost her cool, “It is a baby, Cal. Our baby. You honestly expect me to have an abortion? I don’t think I can do that.”

 

“I’m married. So are you. What would it look like? I’m not divorced from Vickie, yet. If she could prove infidelity right now, she’d wipe me out, Claire! And you know damn well Brad would leave you with nothing.”

 

“Even though he’s been cheating on me all these years?”

 

“That doesn’t change anything. We aren’t together. This was a mistake. An accident. Just take care of it.” Another man she thought she could count on turned out to be cold and cruel, Claire thought, as she had outwardly pretended to agree with him. Her own father had been cold at times, too.

 

When he was sober, he was kind, and supportive. But when he drank, he became abusive, and emotionally cruel to her and her mother. So Sylvia had left her husband, Jack and took Claire to live at her aunt and uncle’s and how Claire Louise Jensen met and married Bradford Emerson Meade.

 

Now, looking at her latest grandson, Alexander Daniel Meade and seeing Daniel’s doting care of Betty and their growing family, she had to close her eyes and say a silent prayer of thanks to whatever god was maybe still up there, and she smiled, thinking of the still clear image in her mind’s eye of her handsome young Brad, who Daniel was looking just a bit more like now at least around the eyes as he had reached his own fortieth birthday just before the birth of his third child. 

 

Although, thankfully, he still had plenty of hair, unlike his father. Claire chuckled, remembering how freaked out Bradford had been when his had started thinning.

 

She handed little Alex off to his daddy, and whispered, “Is Betty still sleeping?” He nodded and went to sit in the rocking chair, looking down at his son with pride. “She’s exhausted. Come sit, Mom. You must be wiped out, too. I can’t believe you got here so soon.”

 

“Well, I wasn’t going to miss this grandchild’s birth!” She laughed quietly, putting her hand on top of her son’s as he rocked his newborn gently, and stared at his sleeping wife adoringly.

 

He narrowed his eyes at her, “Are you sure you’re okay, Mom? You seem sort of…far away. What were you thinking about just now?”

 

She shrugged, “Life. You. Your father. How different things were when he and I were young. How I envy you two this time in your life with Betty. The usual, I guess. Wishing I had that time in my life back so I could do things differently, better. 

 

Wishing I could tell my younger self to slow down and enjoy the moments like this. They don’t come around often enough and we tend to ignore them or take them for granted.”

 

He looked at his mother sympathetically, “Mom, you tried your best with Dad. Don’t blame yourself. He was the one who messed things up.”

 

“I was far from perfect, Daniel. I did my own share of ‘messing things up’, too, I’m afraid. Believe it or not, your father wasn’t always the stern, cold, harsh man who cheated on your mother. 

 

He was once a young, kind, but driven man who was determined to make a far better life than he grew up with. His father ran off and left him and his mother and they had it pretty tough until they went to live with his mother’s well-off brother. 

 

That’s when I first met him…never mind. I know I’ve told you and Alexis this story so many times you’re sick of hearing it.”

 

He shook his head, smiling, “It’s okay. It’s been a while. I don’t think you ever told Betty.”

 

They heard a soft groan, “Hmm? Daniel? Mom? Hey, there, guys. Which one of you ran off with my new little man? Can I hold my son, please, Daniel?” She smiled, as she reached out for little Alex.

 

She lit up when Daniel lovingly brought the baby to his mother, “Hey, our son. I had a little to do with it, you know.”

She rolled her eyes, “Yes, I remember. Although not the really painful part. You got all the fun stuff.”

 

He handed her little Alex and sat next to the bed, stroking her hair, “Yeah, sorry about that, sweetie. I know I’m not that great a coach. I just keep flashing back to my rowing days at Harvard and instead of ‘row’ I say, “push”. 

 

That and letting you yell and cuss at me and squeeze my hand till you break the bones in it is all I know to do, I’m afraid. I wish I could take the pain, believe me.”

 

“I never curse!” 

“Huh! Yeah, right!”

She grinned, looking down at her little bundle of joy, “He’s so beautiful. He’s perfect!” She squeezed Daniel’s hand and kissed his fingers. “I was only teasing, sweetie. You were here. That’s the main thing. Plus…you’ve gotten pretty good at cooking and making whatever I was craving. So…I guess I’ll keep you around.”

 

“Gee, thanks.” He grinned and leaned down to kiss her forehead, then brushed aside a strand of hair. “Do you want me to bring your shampoo and…give you a sponge bath later? You’re all sweaty.” He winked.

 

Betty glanced over at Claire, “Daniel….”

 

Claire walked over to the other side of the bed and patted little Alex, then stroked her daughter-in-law’s hair. “Don’t let me bother you two. If you like, I can go get you some things and bring them here. Give you and Daniel some time alone with your new son. Are you coming home tomorrow?”

 

“Hopefully, the doctor will release me then. I think so. I’m so glad you made it this time. It meant so much to me to have you here.”

 

“My pleasure, dear. When you are up to it, let me know as soon as I can babysit.”

 

“Mom said she’s going to tell you the story of how she and my dad first met and fell in love. I’ve heard it already a few dozen or so times, but…”

 

Betty’s eyes widened and her smile lit up the room, “Oh, I’d love to hear that…Mom!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Ugly Betty!
> 
> A/N: As I mentioned before, these will just be snippets of memories from Claire’s ‘moments’, intertwined within the Detty-world of ‘My Place or Yours’. Here, we’ll just get the very beginning of Claire’s story about Brad and how they met. More with their adventures as a young couple to come.

After knocking several times, Claire reluctantly let herself into her son and daughter-in-law’s home, looking around and listening for sounds of life. 

 

She stopped suddenly, transfixed by the soft baritone of Daniel’s voice, singing a lull-a-bye she remembered fondly. It had been the same one Brad had sang to both his sons when they were infants. 

 

Her young husband, rocking the babies to bed was one of those tender memories Claire still held dear, and none of the terrible, heart-wrenching subsequent events would ever serve to dim or diminish their special place in her heart.

 

She stood at the door of the nursery that Daniel had proudly painted and assembled all the furniture himself and listened, as he rocked little Alex and held him close, 

Once there was a way,  
To get back homeward. 

Once there was a way  
To get back home. 

Sleep, my little man, now ,   
Dot not cry   
And I will sing a lullaby. 

Golden slumbers,   
Fill your eyes   
Smiles await you when you rise   
Sleep my little man, now   
Do not cry   
And I will sing a lullaby. 

Claire recognized Daniel making the same change in the lyrics his father had to seem more masculine. Not that it had made a difference to Alexis, she thought, smiling to herself.

 

He looked up, and smiled, whispering, “Hey, there, grandma! I didn’t hear you come in. You’re early. I just got the two little monkeys quieted down after their dinner and baths. 

 

I sat them both in the family room, coloring. Hang on, we’ll go listen in on their conversation. They’re so cute; it’s hilarious. Betty and I try not to burst out laughing when we hear them.”

 

Claire observed her son, gently lay his own little boy down in his crib, and plant a kiss on his head, covering him up, and patting him lightly. “Nite, nite, little man.” He said softly. 

 

As he put his arm around his mother, and squeezed her, he asked, “You okay, Mom? You seem kind of sad.”

 

She shook her head, wiping away a small tear, but smiling, “No, I was just thinking how much you sounded like your father just then, singing to little Alex. I know you sang that song to Drew and Ariel, too.”

 

He shrugged, “Yeah, well, it’s one of the few lull-a-bye’s I know, I guess. It seems to help them sleep. Betty doesn’t think she sings all that well, so she leaves that to me. She’s great at bedtime stories, though. I’m her props man.”

 

She nodded, “Yes, well, your father always had a much better singing voice than I did, as well. You used to fancy yourself a bit of a rock singer, as I recall in your youth.”

 

He winced, “Yeah, don’t remind me, I haven’t even told Betty that one. I don’t think. It’s just another part of my past I’d rather forget.”

 

She smiled, “Like being a ‘man-whore’? 

 

He rolled his eyes, “That was a very long time ago, Mom. I much prefer this life to that one, that’s for sure. So, Dad really sang to us? I sure don’t remember that! I heard him sing a few times, I guess at Christmas maybe.”

 

She hooked her arm through her son’s and Daniel put his finger to his lips and they stopped before going into the family room, listening intently to the two sibling’s chatter.

 

“Here, Arie, I put the colors you like in the box. Just use those. Don’t go fast, neither. Do it slow, like me, see? Then you can stay inside the lines.”

 

The little girl observed her older brother then pointed to her own more abstract creation, “I like my one more betterer, Drew. See, it has all the colors together!”

 

Her brother looked at her artistic design and nodded, “Yeah, it’s pretty, too, I guess. For a girl.”

 

The little girl pouted, “I’m not a girl, take that back!”

 

“You are, too!”

 

“So? I can still draw good.”

He sighed, and patted his little sister’s hand, “I know you can. You do good, Arie. I like it. You know mommy and daddy will still put it on our special wall.”

 

Her eyes shone, “Really? You think so?”

 

“Yep. You bet!” He kissed her on the cheek, and smiled at her, as she continued working on her masterpiece.

 

Claire clapped her hand over her mouth, “Oh, my goodness, they’re so adorable, Daniel. I’m so glad to have the chance to spend time with them that I never got with DJ. And honestly, not even with you and Alex once we moved back to New York in the seventies. Thank you for letting me babysit so much.”

 

“Hey, it’s fine with me, Mom. More alone time with my wife, now that she’s feeling better.”

 

Claire looked at her son and laughed, “So…when did the doctor give you the green light?”

 

Daniel smirked, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just want to take my lovely wife and the mother of my children out for a nice meal, maybe a movie or something.”

 

She raised her hand, shaking her head, “All right, whatever you say, dear.”

 

Betty came out, wearing a silky purple dress and black heels, with her hair twisted up in a loose bun. She smiled as soon as she saw Claire, “Mom! Hey, it’s great to see you, again. Thanks so much for watching the kids for us. 

 

Daniel’s more particular than I am for who he allows to babysit our children. I wanted to hire a girl dfrom the neighborhood that we both know really well, but all of a sudden this crazy guy puts the poor girl through an FBI background check or something! I thought he was going to ask her for a blood sample and fingerprints.

 

She’s very mature and she’s seventeen. I was watching Justin all the time when I was her age. Plus, Tiffany has five younger brothers and sisters, so she knows what she’s doing!”

 

“Well, hey, you can never be too careful, Betty.”

 

“I know, sweetie. You’re a great daddy. Did you get Alex to sleep already?”

 

He smiled proudly, “Of course. I sang him the magic song. Mom was just telling me my dad actually used to sing it to me and Alex, apparently. That’s hard to believe. Can’t really picture Bradford Meade singing me a lull-a-bye! Maybe Alex.”

 

Claire had always hated how much her husband had shown favoritism towards their eldest son, and nothing poor Daniel tried to do ever seemed to be good enough for his father. 

 

It had been just one of their many points of contention over the years. She understood from Bradford’s point of view why he was so harsh on Daniel, but still didn’t agree with his treatment of their youngest son.

 

She admired her daughter-in-law and watched with satisfaction the love and admiration Daniel had for Betty as he kissed his wife tenderly and hugged her.

 

He murmured in Betty’s ear. I just need five minutes, okay, baby? Your son managed to spit up on my Dolce shirt here. He has no respect for good quality fashion yet.”

 

She kissed him on the lips and laughed, “Oh, I see. So that makes him MY son, does it? I respect quality fashion.”

 

He rolled his eyes, “Of course you do, dear. NOW. Maybe I should take out your poncho from the frame and wear it whenever I hold Alex.”

 

She just patted his rear, “Very funny. Go, change, Mr. Fashionista. I want to talk to your mother, anyway. Do you know where you’re taking me tonight?”

 

He grinned, rather like a schoolboy, “I’m still not telling. But I know where you’re taking me when we get home for sure. And I know who’s getting lucky finally tonight!”

 

Betty laughed, “We’ll see about that. I know that’s the only reason you fed and bathed everybody while I got dressed tonight. Trying to butter me up!”

 

He grinned, as he disappeared off to change, “I didn’t need to do that. I still got it. I know you won’t be able to resist my charms, Mrs. Meade. So, don’t even try.”

Betty slid her arm comfortable around her mother-in-law’s waist and smiled at her, “Hey, lady. Thanks so much for this.”

 

“Please, Betty. You don’t have to thank me. You know I love watching my grandchildren. I enjoy spending as much time with them as possible. They’re so adorable. 

 

Daniel and I were listening to them talk about their masterpieces earlier. Drew’s really getting into his role as Ariel’s big brother, isn’t he? Do they still fight over who gets to hold Alex?”

 

Betty shook her head, “No, now Ariel is the one who usually wants to hold him. We are starting to get a little worried about how Drew seems a bit jealous of the baby. 

 

Before, he saw him as this toy to fight with his sister over playing with. Now, he seems to see him as the usurper of his role as the man of the house and he wants to make sure he gets his daddy’s attention.”

 

“That is a problem. I know these things don’t seem all that concerning when they’re this age, but once they hit puberty, those kinds of things have the potential to cause deep resentments, as you know. 

 

I’m sure you’re both on the lookout to make sure Alex never has to compete for his father’s attention like Daniel did for his father’s. But then again, Daniel is a much more loving father to all his children, so I don’t think there is much danger there. And he’s never had that ‘killer instinct’ that tore him away from his family and kept him at work constantly.”

 

Betty nodded, “No, Daniel does his work for the Arthur Finney Foundation mostly from home as much as he can. He teases me that he’s essentially a house husband. He does do a great job, feeding the kids and playing with them, although he normally lets me clean them up and get them dressed. 

 

Sit, can I get you something? How about some chamomile tea? You know your son. He’ll take at least half an hour to change his shirt. Then he’ll end up changing his tie, then his pants. Apparently you can take the man out of Mode, but you can’t completely take the Mode out of the man!”

 

Claire laughed and sat on the leather sofa, watching her daughter-in-law, happily fussing in her kitchen. 

 

Betty handed Claire her tea and sat next to her, her eyes shining, “So…you still never told me how you first met Daniel’s dad. Were you in New York long before you met him? Did he sweep you off your feet? How did it happen?”

 

Claire patted the spot next to her, and smiled, “Ever the writer, asking me so many questions, Betty, dear! 

 

Well, actually, it was the silliest thing. I had seen him at the country club where he was a caddy to make extra money and evidently, he had seen me in my tennis dress, taking lessons my aunt had insisted would somehow make me a proper refined lady. 

 

I was enjoying the lessons, but I was enjoying seeing all the handsome young men who worked at the country club even more. Of course, my aunt particularly wasn’t too thrilled that I seemed more interested in the ‘help’ than in the members. 

 

But those young men were all far too boring and stuffy for me. I liked the boys who worked there. They seemed much more interesting to me. Brad would find ways to stop by the tennis courts after he got off work, I think just to see me. 

 

He somehow found out who I was, asking around I suppose, and managed to get someone to find out which relatives I was staying with and what their names’ were. He told me later, he had to sneak into the country club’s membership files to get my uncle’s phone number.” She smiled.

 

Betty grinned, patting Claire’s hand, “Sounds like somebody sure had it bad for you!” 

 

Claire shrugged, “Well, he didn’t have to cross an ocean for me, but…I was duly impressed that he worked so hard to get my number. Enough to agree to go out with him. 

 

Besides, he was by far the handsomest boy there! There were lots of other girls who wanted him. But for some reason, he chose me.”

 

“I’m sure you were beautiful then, too.”

 

She shrugged, “I had my charms. He said he was impressed with my passion, more than anything, while he watched me play. Personally, I think it was my ass in the tennis dress.”

 

Betty laughed, as Daniel came back out, wearing a different outfit altogether, “Hey, you two. So, are you ready, babe?” 

 

Betty laughed, “I see you changed your whole outfit?”

 

He glanced down, pulling on his jacket, “Well, yeah, I didn’t have another purple shirt clean that went with those pants I had on, so…what? What are you two laughing at?”

 

“Nothing, sweetie. Let’s go. So, I expect to hear more about that story when we get back, Mom.”

 

Claire gave her a look, seeing Daniel’s face, “I doubt you’ll have time this evening for reminiscing with your mother-in-law, Betty. 

 

There’ll be plenty of time for more of that Thursday, when you two come for Thanksgiving. Alexis is coming, and DJ’s got a new girlfriend he wants to bring. Brandon’s niece and nephew are coming, as well. It’s going to be quite the blended family affair.

 

I’ll tell you about not only Bradford’s and my little adventures in Ireland and here, but how we got Alex and Daniel."

 

Daniel rolled his eyes, “Oh, fun! I get to hear about my parent’s having sex! Mom! Alex and I’ve heard that story plenty before.”

 

She hit his arm, “Well if you don’t want to hear it again, you can always sit at the children’s table, dear! Go, have a nice evening. I’ll get them both put to bed, then check on Alex before I call my husband and raid your refrigerator.”

 

Betty laughed and leaned forward to kiss Claire on the cheek, “Well, I personally can’t wait to hear more about how your first date went. Do you need us to bring anything?”

 

“Not a thing, Betty. Just those darling grandkids of mine! Have a wonderful evening, you two!”

 

When Betty left to say goodnight to the kids, Claire smiled at Daniel, “So, enjoy your evening, son.”

 

“Thanks, Mom. You have no idea how much I appreciate you staying all night with the kiddos. I could never have talked her into spending the night in a hotel any other way. But with you here, I’m pretty sure I can convince her we need this.”

 

Claire nodded and patted Daniel on the cheek, “You’re a wonderful husband, darling. Betty is a lucky woman. I’m so proud of you for continuing to cherish her. These are the moments you both need to treasure.”

 

Daniel smiled, and winked at her, “You know, Mom. You could have Brandon come here and keep you company. Help you keep an eye on the kids. Just don’t get too distracted to do your job.”

 

“Once the children are asleep, I was thinking of doing just that. Since he’s retired, he’s underfoot all the time. I’m sort of getting used to having him around.”

 

“I’m glad you and Brandon have each other. You deserve the happiness you never really got with Dad.”

 

“I got the beginning years with your father that were happy. Not to mention, I got you and your sister. You two are my real happy ending with your father. He and I must have done something right.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Ugly Betty!
> 
> _A/N: I don't want to be my own spoiler here, but just have an open mind! This will have some strange back and forth in the story. I'm sure you'll be able to follow what's happening for the most part, though. At least as well if not better than Claire herself!_

  
Claire watched her grandchildren playing quietly as she listened for the sounds of her husband’s car out front. She watched nervously, somewhat concerned about the freezing rain that had started to fall outside. 

 

Of course her sweet little Ariel had noticed her checking the window frequently. “Is Abuelo Brandon almost here, Grandma?” She asked in her sweet little voice. 

 

She smiled, thinking how much like her mother the little girl sounded and looked. Although thankfully her eyesight seemed fine and her teeth…well, so far, so good, she thought to herself. 

 

She held out her arms as the little girl jumped up, wrapping her legs around Claire’s’ slender waist. 

 

“Goodness! You’ve got strong little legs, baby girl. Yes, Grandma was waiting for…Abuelo Brandon. He should be here any minute now.” Claire didn’t know if it was Daniel or Betty’s bright idea (or Tia Alexis, she thought suspiciously) to get the kids to call Brandon Abuelo and Ignacio Grandpa. No matter. They were too adorable to correct on the point now. 

 

“Is he going to play tea party with me?” The little girl asked, her huge brown eyes shining brightly. 

 

Her brother mumbled, “No, because he’s playing Pirates with me! He promised last time! Grandma, Abuelo promised it was my turn this time. He played silly tea party with her forever the last time you Alex sat with us!”

 

“Alex sat?”

 

He shrugged, “Daddy said it’s called ‘baby sit’. Now Alex is the new baby. So don’t you have to sit him up or something while you stay here with us? It’s no use, though. He can’t sit up yet on his own. You have to prop him up with pillows and stuff or he falls over like one of her stupid dolls.”

 

“My dollies aren’t stupid! You take that back, Andrew meanie! And tea party is fun. You said yourself you liked it. You’re just jealous cuz Abuelo does the funny voices and talks like we do instead of like mommy and daddy and grandma all Americannent.”

“American, sweetie. Abuelo is English. Like you two, I suppose.”

 

“And Alex, too?”

 

“Yes, all three of you were born here, so…I suppose you are our little British sweethearts. All of you. Although…I here you are all going to spend a long holiday in New York with your Grandpa Suarez and your Auntie Hilda and Uncle Bobby and your cousin Justin.”

 

“And Marc and Amanda, too? Everybody from mommy and daddy’s old work?”

 

“Yes. I’m sure you’ll do the tour. Aunt Alexis and I used to work there, too, you know. That’s where mommy and daddy met.”

 

“And the mean witch lady Willie meanie? She is still there? Will she be there and yell at us and scare us?”

 

She let Ariel down and sat on the sofa next to them, laughing. “Well, yes, she’s still there. But she’s not as mean as she used to be. She has a husband now and she’s a grandma, too. Although she doesn’t like to be called granny like I do by you two little monkeys.”

 

They both giggled as she tickled them. “We’re not monkeys! Uh uh! Daddy’s a monkey!”

 

“Daddy is? Why is that?”

 

“Mommy said so! She said he’s like a big ape sometimes! Isn’t that a monkey?”

 

She laughed. “Yes, I suppose so. Where is your Abuelo?” She tried not to be concerned. But she really wished Brandon would get there soon. 

After trying to ring him a few more times and getting his voice mail yet again, she put the children to bed, even though they tried to stay up waiting for him to play with them.

 

Finally, she stretched out on the sofa, and covered herself with an afghan that somehow reminded her of that God-awful poncho Betty had shrined in her office from her first auspicious day at Mode. It had way too many colors and none of them seemed to go with one another. She felt herself slipping off to sleep, when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

 

“Brandon? Is that you, darling?” She fluttered her eyes wearily but was shocked to see not her husband but her…well, her late husband, Bradford standing over her, grinning like an idiot and holding out his hand.

 

“Hey, Claire, baby! You couldn’t stay awake just one more hour? I told you I didn’t get off work till eleven. Lightweight! Here I had plans to take you on a nice romantic walk on the beach.”

 

Claire thought she must surely be dreaming. She pinched herself, Ow! Okay, not dreaming, necessarily. She looked at the young, handsome devastatingly blue-eyed man in front of her, younger than her son Daniel, hell, younger than Tyler even now. She bit her lower lip, squinting, “Bradford?”

 

He made a face, “Bradford? Are you mad at me or something, Claire? You know only my mom calls me THAT! Come on, are you awake yet? Do you want a coke or something to wake up? Or some coffee?”

 

She blinked and put her hand on the young man’s arm. It was lean and muscular, just as she remembered, “Brad? Is it really you? What are you doing here? Am I…have I died or something? Oh, no! The poor children will be frightened!”

 

He looked at her strangely, “Dead? Why would you think that, Claire bear? You’re only twenty years old, girl! You’re way too young and beautiful to be thinking about dying! It’s you and me, forever and ever, baby! Come here, Claire! I missed you.”

 

She smiled as she felt his strong, toned and tanned arms pull her close and kiss her like she hadn’t been kissed for a long time. God, the man knew how to make her knees buckle! She remembered how charming he could be. He looked at her face and held her cheek, smiling, “That’s my Claire bear.”

 

“Oh, Bradf…Brad. You haven’t called me that in years!”

 

“Years? Honey, we’ve only been dating a year and a half and I call you that all the time! Listen…I wanted to tell you, I’ve got fantastic news! My uncle and his boss, some guy named Hartley are going to start me in an internship at this magazine to be a junior editor. 

 

If I do well, they said I could move up in the company and the sky’s the limit! We can finally get married! Isn’t that great!”

 

She suddenly looked down and felt the strangest sensation. Like butterflies dancing around inside her stomach. Then she remembered, “Um….Brad…what year is this?”

 

He looked at her like she was crazy, but then touched her head, frowning, “Sweetie, you didn’t drink your mom’s Scotch again, did you? Remember you got sick last time. And besides, you don’t want to end up like your dad, a drunk or something.”

 

She winced at that one, but took out his wallet from his pants pocket, and grabbed the small calendar she knew he always carried. “Oh god God! It’s Alex!”

 

He grabbed the wallet back, “Hey! Knock it off, will you? We’re not married yet! You don’t get to just grab my wallet!” He laughed, then kissed her cheek, smacking her bottom playfully.

 

Her eyes widened, and she slapped him, “Bradford Meade! Cut that out! I’m a married woman!”

 

He looked at her strangely, backing up, “Since when? What the hell are you talking about?”

 

She bit her lip, trying to figure out what in the world was going on. Was she dreaming, dead, in a coma? Or just having a weird reaction to Betty’s attempts at making her father’s famous flan? It had tasted a little…off!

 

She sat down, and patted the seat next to her for him to sit. He put his arm around her, and looking genuinely concerned, he whispered, “Claire? What are you talking about, honey? You’re not married. Are you? Is there something you want to tell me?”

 

She shook her head, “No…it’s not that. I’m not married. At least, not…um yet. I suppose. I’m sorry, Brad. I’m very tired. I feel like the oldest twenty-year old girl on the planet right now. In fact, I feel more like sixty-seven than twenty, truth be told!”

 

He fished out a mirror from the pocket of his black leather jacket and handed it to her. “Well, your hair’s a little messed up from us making out earlier, and your lipstick’s smeared. 

 

But you look pretty hot to me for a what did you say? Sixty-nine year old?” he laughed, “I know something sixty-nine we could DO, maybe. But you’re definitely the sexiest old lady I’ve ever seen, baby doll!” 

 

He pulled her closely and kissed her again, and as soon as she caught her breath, she took a look in the mirror hesitantly, and her eyes widened, looking at her own reflection, as a twenty-year old girl. She put her hands on her cheek and shook her head, “Dear Lord, I wonder what Wilhelmina would pay for this!”


	4. Chapter 4

“Claire-ity! Where are you, girl?” Claire opened her eyes, and saw the ocean in front of her. What the hell? Where was she? She knew something strange was going on. She had just been with a younger version of her now deceased ex-husband, just before she had to let him know she was pregnant with Alex. Now…

 

She put her hand up to shade the glaring sun from her eyes, and that’s when she saw him, “Daniel? What the devil? Shouldn’t you be with Betty? And where are the kids? You look really young…Daniel? Is that really you?”

 

Suddenly as he got closer up on shore, she saw this wasn’t Daniel at all. It was ‘Brad’, a little older than before, but still younger than Daniel was now, perhaps in his late twenties.

 

She looked up at his face, once so familiar and yet so foreign to her now. He sat down next to her, still dripping from the ocean, “You should take a dip with me, Claire, baby! The water’s not that cold! Whimp!” He nudged her with his shoulder and leaned down to kiss her softly. “How’s my little guy?” He put his hand on her stomach gently.

 

She blinked, trying to figure out where she was in her dream or flashback, or whatever she was in now. “Um….you mean…Daniel? I’m pregnant with Daniel now? So that makes Alex almost five? That means we were at…Brighton Beach, right? We live in London while you’re working on your MBA and doing your internship here.”

 

He laughed, as he dropped a light kiss on her cheek and patted her leg, “Is that what you have to do just to remember what’s going on? Wow, you weren’t kidding with that whole ‘pregnancy-brain’ thing, huh, baby? 

 

You look adorable in that suit, by the way. I wish you’d come out with me. Maybe we could coax him out of there before he gets any bigger! I can’t believe how late he is. 

 

You poor baby. It can’t be much fun, even here to be so big and uncomfortable for so long. At least it’s not summertime in New York, can you imagine how miserable you’d be then if you were pregnant?” He grabbed a towel from their beach bag and dried himself. “Wow, now that I’m out and wet, I guess you’re right. It is a little chilly! Maybe it was a bit early for the beach here.”

 

She watched curiously as he dried off and stretched out on the folding lounge chair next to her, sunning himself. She tried to think of what to say to this man. 

 

Some sort of shadow or memory of her past, of the man she used to know or thought she knew, at least. He seemed so different from the man she unfortunately knew he would turn into as he got older.

 

Where had things gone so wrong, she wondered? Where had they let this lovely pair they had started out as change into the older, wiser, stronger, but disillusioned Claire and Bradford? How had this young couple, so in love made such a bad choice or series of choices to end up in a bad marriage and ultimate divorce as they had?

 

She was so happy and thrilled with her life now, or should she say in the future? Finally, things with Brandon had been easy, well, at least in the last seven years, but wait…this was the year she met Brandon, actually. While she and Brad were living in England. When the boys were very young. 

 

This was where things had changed for her, she remembered. Right after she had Daniel and several years before she had slept with Cal and had Tyler. Brandon lived and worked in London and this is the time when they first met so many years ago. 

 

Was that why she was seeing this? She felt Brad’s hand on hers, and he whispered in her ear, “I want to get you home and try that method your sister told you about! Maybe that will encourage the little man out! Hey, it’s worth a try, don’t you think?” He nibbled on her neck, causing her to pop her eyes open at the curious sensation. Okay, this was…different!

 

She nodded, non-committally, not really knowing where the line should be drawn here. Yes, she was technically marred to ‘Brad’ in this scenario, of course. But in her heart, she felt too much had happened. First of all, she was very much in love with her current husband, Brandon. 

 

Not to mention, the man now before her would later cheat on her for years, and still had the nerve to divorce HER when he went after that stupid Wilhelmina and blamed her for killing his other main mistress, Fey, even though the state of New York recognized that Fey had in essence, sealed her own fate when she had tried to poison Claire with that damn perfume!

 

But right now Brad had that gleam in his eyes that she knew so well and he put his hand down to help pull her up, “Come on, sweetie. Let’s go home. The sun will be going down soon. Are you okay? You seem awful quiet today? Are you sure the baby is alright?”

 

She nodded, shocked to see her huge stomach. That felt…weird, she thought. She touched it and laughed at herself. This had to be the weirdest dream ever! As she allowed Brad to help her to her feet, she felt a shooting pain in her back so sharp it doubled her over, “AH!” She cried out in agony and Brad looked at her with concern.

 

He kept his hand on her and led her towards their rather beat-up Waggoneer, “Come on, baby. Let’s get you to the hospital right now! I think little what did you say you wanted to call him, “Danny”? is finally ready to make his appearance known today! We’ll call your mom and tell her so she can let Alex know he’s going to be a big brother soon!”

 

She could barely speak, it hurt so badly now. She cried out, “Oh my GOD! I forgot how damn much this hurts! SHIT!”

 

He laughed, “It’s only been four and a half years, babe. You forgot how painful having Alex was? I thought you said you’d never forget and told me at first you were never going to let me touch you again?” he teased. 

 

She looked down, “Well, obviously, that didn’t happen! Besides, if not me, I’m sure you would have found someone else to touch you, right, dear?” 

 

She was in too much pain to be nice to a man she knew maybe hadn’t technically cheated on her yet, but…she felt certain history would repeat itself, so she reserved the right to take out her anger and frustrations on him, especially since in her world, he had been long gone and she never really got to get the kind of closer she would have liked. She had been patient and understanding, knowing he was dying at the time. But this…version of Brad was very much alive, so all bets were off.

 

He looked at her as if she was crazy, “What? What the hell are you talking about, Claire, baby? I haven’t touched anybody! You think I’d cheat on you? Why would I do that? I would never be unfaithful, sweetie. You know that. You’re just in pain right now. Hang in there; we’ll get you to the hospital.”

 

She narrowed her eyes, looking at him carefully. She knew at this time, he hadn’t even met Fey yet and she didn’t really think he had slept with any of his many women until at least six months after Daniel was born. 

 

The worst day of her life was when she first found out he had been unfaithful. So that was why she was here now…to change that perhaps? To change things in her marriage to Bradford?

 

But why now? She couldn’t have possibly started remembering thing AFTER childbirth? And Daniel, of all the three children she gave birth to…the biggest baby, the most painful birth? NOT fair, she thought! 

 

She wouldn’t have minded so much with Tyler, even though no one was with her then, she was upset and scared, and things were not good at all by then between she and Brad, but at least Tyler was a smaller baby and much less painful delivery!

 

As she continued to breathe and traverse in agony, she saw the concern and care on her young husband’s face with every contraction. He tried to rub her back and shoulders and soothe her as best he could, she noticed. Something she had been far too pre-occupied to take note of the first time around. 

 

His attention softened her attitude a bit for now at least, while she was in between contractions. She tried keeping her eyes closed, hoping perhaps since she had skipped over Alex’s birth, maybe she would luck out and blank out over Daniel’s, as well. But no such luck, of course. Eighteen hours later, she was in the hospital, still screaming obscenities at the hospital staff, and Brad, trying to figure out what sort of hell this was that a sixty-seven year old woman would have to suddenly flashback to giving birth to her second child and most difficult birth.

 

Was this her penance for having killed Fey? Since she had been declared ‘not guilty’ by the state of New York, was she being forced to re-live her terrible marriage, her labor pains and see all the things she had done wrong in her past now? If this was “God” or Buddha or whoever’s idea of a joke, she was missing the punch line.

 

Finally, she was given her baby to hold, after Brad was called in to see if he wanted to cut the cord. He declined, saying he might pass out, but came and stood by Claire’s head, as she held Daniel. He touched her forehead and smiled, “You did it, babe. This was a rough one. No more for you. We have two sons. I think we’re done, don’t you?”

 

She gave him a side glance, “You ask me that now? What do you think I’m going to say? You know I really wanted a daughter, but…it’s fine. I’m not worried. I’m sure I’ll get her one way or another.” She smiled. 

 

As he quickly exited the delivery room, kissing her cheek and telling her he was going to let their family know, she nodded and stroked Daniel’s cheek, “You were a lot of trouble, young man! And if you think I’m going to forget how painful this was after having to give birth to you a second time! You’ve got another thing coming! Good thing for you I love you so much!”


	5. Chapter 5

Claire woke, looking down at little Daniel, lying in her arms. Brad was sitting next to them both, dozing in a chair in the hospital room. He smiled, when he heard her stir. “Hey. How are you Claire, sweetie? You had me worried. Your mom is outside. 

Should I tell her you’re awake? She’s been dying to meet her new grandson, too. But you’ve been sort of in and out. I guess this little guy really wore you out, huh?”

 

“Little guy? You try squeezing a ‘little guy’ who weighs ten pounds out something the size of a lemon and see how much you sleep!”

 

He chuckled, kissing her cheek, and stroking Daniel’s forehead, “He sure is a cute little…sorry, big boy! He’s got my eyes and chin and your uh…stubbornness” he laughed, then kissed his new son, and reached for him, as he started to fuss, “Can I…hold him now, mommy?”

 

She nodded, as he scooped Daniel up and held him against his chest, rocking him back and forth, humming to him. It seemed to soothe baby Daniel as he stopped fussing and drifted back to sleep. 

 

Claire closed her eyes, wishing she could somehow video this moment and save it to share with her grown son Daniel whenever (or if ever) she returned to her ‘own time’. 

 

She drew in a deep breath. “You really love him, don’t you, Brad?”

 

He looked at her strangely, “Of course I do, babe. He’s my son. What’s not to love? I mean…maybe I’m not so thrilled at how much trouble he gave to his mommy right now, but…why would you ask?”

 

She bit her lip, “It’s just that…you’re always so thrilled about Alex. I wonder if you have room in your heart to love another child as much.”

 

“Room? I can love them both equally.”

 

“Can you? Are you really so sure, Brad? I’d hate to have Daniel feel like he was unloved, not good enough when he gets older. It could cause a lot of tension between them, too.”

 

He rocked Daniel, then still holding him, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips, and smiled, “Hey…let’s not start freaking out quite yet, okay, honey? I’m sure we can find it in our hearts to love both our boys equally. 

 

Listen, honey, I’ve got some really good news. I was waiting to tell you until you had the baby. But, I got a great opportunity back in the states. Six months from now, so Daniel here should be old enough to travel. 

 

Remember I told you how Cal Hartley and I really hit it off? He and his wife Vicky are trying to have a child and he wants to go back to the states so they’ll be closer to family when they do get pregnant. Well, if they do. I guess they’ve been trying a while. 

 

But, anyway he told me he bought the old Woolworth building in Manhattan and that he was planning on developing it as a publishing company, but he doesn’t have anyone he trusts to run it for him. And now he wants to just sell the property, because he’s got too many others right now and he doesn’t really have plans for this one anymore. I told him I’d still like to buy it to do the same thing myself. I’ve made a lot of connections in publishing here and a lot of them would like to work in New York. I’ve already got plans for at least five or six different publications. ”

 

She looked at him, knowing what was coming next. This is when he started his ‘dream’ of his publishing ‘empire’.

 

With a gleam in his eyes, he grabbed her hand and put it up to his lips then excitedly told her that with both their savings from their inheritance they could afford to put a down payment down on the building to Cal and with a lot of hard work, they could have it paid off in a few years, then use the connections he had here in Europe to expand to eventually make Meade Publications a global empire.

 

She nodded, smiling faintly, “You’ll do it, too, Brad. I’m just afraid…it’s going to become your only love. You’ll forget all about this day soon and the day we had Alex and me. Soon we’ll just be another obligation to you. You’ll find your life at the office far more exciting than your wife and children. 

 

I won’t know how to compete with the accomplished women you’ll meet at work, so I’ll become involved with charities and country clubs and play the role of your devoted wife, but in the meantime, we’ll gradually drift apart from each other.

And the first time I catch you with another woman, you’ll break my heart, just like I knew you would when I saw you waiting for me at the end of the aisle on our wedding day.” She turned her head and tried to fight off the tears, but her exhaustion was catching up to her. 

 

A woman her age (even in a younger body) shouldn’t have to deal with so much stress, she thought, ruefully. Brad held up his hand, looking at her with concern and confusion and said quietly, “Hang on just a second, baby.” 

 

He disappeared for five minutes or so then returned telling her he had handed Daniel to his grandmother and would go get him after they talked about this.

 

He sat by the bed and turned her gently towards him, taking her chin with his finger and leaning forward to kiss her, “Claire, baby, if that’s really what you think is going to happen to us, I don’t need to do this. 

 

We’ll figure something else out. I don’t ever what you to be worried about me not loving you and the kids. You’re my whole life. I’ve never loved another woman like I love you, and I never will. I promise you.”

 

She sighed, trying to keep it together, “You really shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

 

He leaned forward and kissed her again tenderly, then stroked her hair, before he grabbed her left hand and brushed his thumb over her rings they had bought in Ireland together, 

 

“Mrs. Claire Meade, you know I always keep my promises. I don’t need a building in Manhattan with my name on it to prove how great a man I am. Not as long as I have you as my soul mate. Being with you is what makes me great.

 

I’ll tell you what, why don’t we take some time off and take the boys on a little European adventure before we make any decisions? 

 

I have some vacation time I saved in case I needed to take off for the baby and if we’re careful with money we can go to Paris like we talked about for our anniversary coming up, would you like that?”

 

She didn’t know what to say. He seemed so sincere, here and now. But she couldn’t help feel the overwhelming sense of foreboding and inevitability of the future she knew from her own past. 

 

The future in which he slowly but surely lost interest in her and the children in favor of his company and his mistresses, particularly Fey. 

 

She gave in to her emotions and sobbed in his arms. Of course she knew he simply assumed she was suffering from crazy pregnancy fears and exhaustion and not actually operating from first-hand experience of what their life to come might well entail if they remained on this same path.

 

She thought of something Betty had told her about those last moments she had spent with Bradford before he died and how he had entrusted Betty to help Daniel stay on his path. 

 

She wished she had her daughter-in-law’s fortitude and optimism sometimes. She tended to be a lot more pragmatic, and perhaps that made her less hopeful for the future. But how could she be, knowing what she knew about how things had turned out for her and this man before her?

 

And part of her was wondering, if she did miraculously ‘fix’ things between she and ‘Brad’ how would that change her own future? Would Tyler no longer exist? Would Daniel and Betty have ever met? Would Alex still choose to become a woman? 

 

And how would that affect her future with Brandon? Would they still have their brief fling here in London, then finally re-unite years later, after both their spouses had died? 

 

Or could she possibly change things for the better, living happily ever after (if there really was such a thing) with Bradford, perhaps even persuading him to take better care of his health so he would still be alive? 

 

Right now she had far more questions than answers and she needed rest. Lots of rest. So, she merely squeezed Brad’s hand and smiled, as he wiped away her tears, “We’ll see, Brad. I’m just tired. That’s all. We’ll talk about all this later, after I get Daniel home. 

 

You can tell my mom and Aunt Susan they can bring Daniel back in now, if they haven’t kidnapped him already.”

 

He smiled, thinking she was over whatever had upset her so much about his plans for their future. He felt certain, once she wasn’t so tired and emotional he could still convince her to change her mind about the building. 

 

He loved living in Europe, but he was still a New Yorker at heart. He knew Claire loved London and really wanted to see Paris while they lived there, so he determined that maybe if he was able to take her there, she’d get it out of her system and decide she wanted to come back home, too. 

 

Her mother was going to stay for a few weeks, and Claire’s father Jack was sure to make contact now that he had a new grandson, but Claire had long since stopped trying to include the man in her life, since his drinking had become all-consuming.

When Claire had recovered sufficiently, and her mother had gone back home, the little family packed up their new little turquoise blue mini-van and headed for the white cliffs of Dover and the ferry that would take them to France. Once they arrived in the small and somewhat cheap hotel in Paris, she tried to pretend this was actually her first time there instead of her twenty-first, give or take.

 

After all, Alexis and DJ now made Paris their home, so Claire had actually visited for several weeks at a time and spoke quiet fluent French, since her grandson was French-born. 

 

But for Brad’s sake, she did one of her better acting jobs and felt she had sufficiently convinced him this was her very first trip to the city of lights. She exclaimed and tried to look bright-eyed and enthusiastic about…well, everything. 

 

She almost slipped and made reference to the Chunnel and the glass pyramid at the Louvre, until she remembered neither would have been around yet at this time. She couldn’t help but think how strange it would be when they did return to New York to see the twin towers standing again. 

 

In fact, she almost thought of making an anonymous call to the FBI to try and thwart the disaster, but became fearful that she would be arrested as a terrorist and didn’t want to chance it. Besides, surely no one would believe her story. How could she possibly know the future?

 

She felt almost as hopeless about trying to change her own somewhat bleak future with her ‘current’ husband. He had been extraordinarily sweet and patient since her little meltdown in the hospital the day Daniel was born. And this trip to Paris she knew was part of him trying to please her and set her mind at ease for their life together. 

 

Once they had gotten the children to sleep, Brad pulled her out onto the small balcony, overlooking the Eiffel Tower, which she knew had cost him slightly more than they could really afford on their present tight budget.

 

She smiled as he stood behind her, hugging her tightly around the waist, and whispered, “Close your eyes, I’ve got something for you.”

 

She smirked, “I bet you do. But maybe we should wait a little longer first, just to make sure Alex and Daniel are really asleep.”

 

He laughed, “Not that. Well, not yet, anyway. Okay, you can open them now. Tell me what you think.”

 

She felt him fasten a necklace around her and looked down to see a lovely silver necklace that she didn’t remember him ever giving her. It had the celtic knots on either side of two tear drop gems that were arranged to resemble a butterfly inside a filigree heart shape, and the inscription from their wedding bands ‘anum cara’ meaning soul friends was on the back of the necklace, as well.

 

She had gotten Brad the goblets with the same saying they discovered on their trip to Ireland and it had become their reminder to each other that they would always be friends and soul mates, as they had declared to one another on their wedding day.

 

She knew this was something he had gotten her that ‘her Brad’ never had. Who knew, she thought, maybe things could actually change? She turned and hugged him, wiping a tear that she felt coming on just before he whispered, “I’ll love you forever and ever Claire-ity.”


	6. Chapter 6

For the next few months, things in the Meade home seemed idyllic. Claire was adapting to her ‘new’ life in the past, and even found herself enjoying this time together with her young husband and children; a time she had either almost forgotten about due to her later alcohol consumption or had perhaps blocked out when things got so tough with Bradford because she didn’t want to be tortured by how great she once had it.

 

She was enjoying all of it; the time with little Alex and Daniel, savoring every precious moment with them, as their (young) mother. Those things she remembered finding scary and rather stressful as a younger woman, she now found easy to navigate and joyful the ‘second time around.’ And the same could certainly be said of her time with Brad.

 

She had forgotten all the small, sweet things he had once done for her when they were newly married. The love notes he left her that she would find after he had gone to work. The nice little ‘wake up’ sessions he sweetly begged for many mornings that she now treasured each moment of rather than bemoaned. 

 

The kind words and compliments she had either taken for granted the first time around or failed to notice. Now she saw her whole life through new (more seasoned) eyes. 

 

She felt like she had been given the incredible gift of knowing what her younger self had not, but still had her youth and vitality to enjoy this life.

 

Above all, she was determined to get rid of Fey Sommers before the woman had infiltrated her husband’s life and ruined their happy family. 

 

By intercepting her introduction to Brad in the first place and sending the woman on another path in life, Claire felt she was doing everyone a favor even Fey herself. She could very easily be saving the woman’s life by making sure she never met Bradford Meade.

 

As far as all the subsequent affairs Brad had been involved in, Claire was ‘doing her part’ to keep her young husband ‘entertained’ constantly so he would never be tempted in the first place. 

 

Besides, it wasn’t really all that difficult (or terrible). She did miss the old goat. He had been…well, entertaining in bed. She loved him, too. She had never stopped loving him all these years. So, there was that. 

 

Claire grinned as she was making breakfast and felt Brad’s arms slide around her waist, and heard his voice in her ear, “How about going out tonight? Mrs. Clary can watch the boys while we go dancing. You like dancing, right, Mrs. Meade?”

 

She laughed, “When the occasion presents itself, I’ve been known to cut the rug a bit, yes.”

 

He shook his head, “How is it that you sound like your Aunt Mildred lately, but act so…frisky? Very sexy, Claire-ity, girl! 

 

Here I was worried after Daniel was born that you’d be…too tired to do anything and it’s been exactly the opposite. You’ve been all over me! Not that I’m complaining.” He turned her around and began kissing her neck then held her face in his hands, looking into her eyes. 

 

“I barely even notice all those girls at the office that keep flirting with me. Cause I know nobody can satisfy me like my Claire sweetie!” He leaned down to start nibbling on her neck again and she felt his hands wandering over her. 

 

She resisted the urge to giggle. She was a grown woman, and much too old to giggle anymore, she told herself, “Brad, this is…very nice, dear, but…don’t you have to get to work?”

 

“Mmhmm…but screw it! Hell, what’s the point in being the boss if I can’t stay at home and play with my sexy wife once in a while, huh? Nobody is going to tell me I can’t be late.” He scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom.

 

She bit her lip, feeling very naughty right now. But hell, she was probably dead or dying anyway, she told herself, although if this was purgatory for having killed Fey, it really wasn’t so bad. 

 

She had loved this man for most of her adult life, so in spite of the pain he had caused her later on, she knew this ‘version’ of her husband; the younger, kinder Brad had so far done nothing to hurt her. He had only been sweet and loving to her. 

 

So, she couldn’t see taking out her frustrations and anger on him. Actually, she felt nothing but….well, passion for him. He stirred feelings she thought were long gone and made her feel young and vibrant again. Not a completely terrible way to live, she reasoned.

As they lay on the floor, after having made love on the bed, against the wall, and on the dresser, Brad played with her long (yes long and, okay BROWN hair), he kissed her sweetly, “Wow…you have somehow learned so many things! 

 

You’ve suddenly become some kind of expert! I felt like I had a few moves, but…Claire-ity, baby, you’re incredible, honey! How did you suddenly get so…confident?”

 

She smiled knowingly, “When you’ve been around as long as I have…I mean, um…I read ‘mommy porn’ now and then to spice things up. Brad, honey, I’m frankly a little bored, just being a stay-at-home mom. I can do more. Let me come to work with you. 

 

Let me run a magazine. I know I can do it. I’ve certainly got the exper…backg, I…I’m sure I can do it! Just give me a chance. And that way, I can keep an eye on…well, I can help you build up the company. This empire you have envisioned; does it include me and the boys? 

 

I’m worried that you’re going to get so involved with your business, it will become your whole life. I want to always be a part of your world. Don’t shut me out.”

 

He pulled her close, “Shut you out? What do you mean? I did just play ‘hook-y’ to stay here with you, didn’t I, babe? I don’t know about you coming to work with me, though. First off, who’s going to watch the kids?

 

I thought you were the one who said you absolutely didn’t want some nanny raising our sons? Plus, since when do you know how to run a magazine? Claire, baby, I really don’t think that’s such a good idea. 

 

I’ve been spending lots of time with you and the boys. I did what you asked and made sure I come home at least two or three times a week before the kids’ bedtimes so we can play together and all have dinner as a family.

 

But the company is sort of my own place. I’m not trying to ‘exclude you’ or the kids. One day, I can see Alex and Daniel running Meade Publishing together and hopefully passing it on to their own children, too. Why do you think I’m working so hard? I’m doing it for you three. I want to build up a legacy that you can be proud of me for, sweetie. I don’t want you to ever have to work. And I want my kids to have the best of everything. 

 

Both of our sons will go to Harvard one day. Not have to scrape by just to make it through some crummy college, as a bus boy and caddy like I did!” 

 

Claire shook her head, trying to articulate all she knew would come to pass if he continued on this particular path and just finding herself frustrated once again when he got on these little rants about what he saw as their ‘future’. If he could only know what she knew! Once, over a few too many glasses of Chardonnay, she had tried to actually tell him, but he of course, had merely thought she was hallucinating and told her to ‘take it easy on the sauce, or you’ll end up like your old man!’.

 

This time, she kissed him lightly on the lips and sighed, “Oh, Brad, dear. I wish I could tell you what’s really in my heart right now. I love you madly and I will till I’m an old woman, all wrinkled and grey…well make that blonde and less…smooth-skinned at least.” 

 

He laughed at her, and started to say something, but she put her finger on his lips, “But you’ve got to know that this ‘vision’ you think you have for Meade Publications and your ‘legacy’ will come to pass, but only at a price I’m not willing to pay again.

You can certainly build this huge empire you have planned if you buy that building from Cal Hartley in New York. The building that will have the name Meade on it will stand as a testament to your business acumen and you’ll in fact, be able to develop ties in many European markets, both here in the UK, in France, and even a few in Asia.

 

Men will admire you and young, attractive women will continue to throw themselves at you constantly. You can and very likely will achieve all you set out to accomplish, of that I have no doubt.”

 

He seemed mesmerized by her words, “Claire, honey, I had no idea you believed in me so much! You’re amazing. I’m so happy that you…”

 

She shook her head and looked at him sadly, then continued, “But at what price will you obtain all these things? You’ll lose your family, bit by bit over the years, as the cost of reaching these seemingly lofty goals of yours becomes too high.

 

You will never really lose my love, but my trust, as you are eventually tempted by one of the many women you constantly surround yourself with, and you’ll break my heart not once, but repeatedly. 

 

Then, you’ll alienate Alex because he isn’t capable of becoming the man you envision him to be and you’ll have no patience for his true nature. You’ll say cruel things to him that will force him to resort to drastic measures to get your attention.

 

And poor Daniel will find your constant comparing him to his older brother and looking at him with your disapproval so upsetting, he’ll simply give up trying to please you. Unless he meets the right woman to turn him around, he’ll turn out just like you, going from woman to woman, wasting his life with booze and sex.”

 

Brad narrowed his eyes and looked at her, “Claire, honey, there you go, talking all gloom and doom-y again, like you did right after little Danny was born. I thought you were over that post-partum depression stuff. 

 

I tell you what, how about we go to Switzerland next month? Would you like that? I can get you some great chocolate and perfume. Maybe that will cheer you up. Come on, sweetie, we were having so much fun. Don’t be all down again. I want to see that smile.”

 

Claire closed her eyes, trying to once again, think of a way to change her path. She sometimes felt like she was on the Titanic, knowing full well the whole time of its’ ultimate fate, but unable to do anything to change it from happening.

 

Then Brad would kiss her and touch her in that intimate, loving way he had and she would forget everything she knew about their future and get swept away in those blue eyes of his.

 

The only difficult part was, she found herself feeling more and more like she was ‘cheating’ on Brandon. But surely that wasn’t really so. She hadn’t even met him. Yet. Had she? This ‘time travel’ or alternate universe stuff was confusing and a little iffy on the moral issues.

 

Of course when and if she did and she couldn’t for the life of her actually remember the first time she had laid eyes on her ‘future’ second husband, things might become even more confusing for Claire. 

 

All she remembered for certain was him coming up to her at some party when she was getting trashed after first finding out about Brad’s affair with Fey, and helping her. He had been so kind. 

 

She remembered his soft voice and sweet manner once she sobered up and found herself in a strange apartment. Then, while he was in the shower, she had woken up and quickly left, scared to death that something had happened between them that she didn’t remember. 

 

Months later, of course, when she found out he was actually working at the fledgling Mode UK, she was petrified at first when she ran into him, but he had pulled her aside and reassured the ‘boss’s wife’ that nothing had transpired between them. 

 

He had merely taken care of her until she sobered up, allowing her to rest on his couch. Such a gentleman, she remembered thinking at the time!

 

Only months later, after much had happened in the way of Brad’s infidelities, would Claire learn the desire that Brandon had for her all this time, but had been too much of a gentleman to reveal to the married wife of his boss.

 

Claire remembered quite well the first time things had developed between her and Brandon. It had started out quite innocently, she had found out (yet again) that Brad had been seen in the copy room with yet another of his endless new young assistants. This time, by actually walking in on them in the act.

 

Brandon had consoled her, listening to her, and wiping away her tears. Then, just as she took a breath, and their eyes met, something ignited between them. After they had made love, she knew she had experienced something she would never forget. Indeed, her first time with Brandon had been a night she still hadn’t forgotten even after thirty-two more years of the roller-coaster ride of marriage to Bradford Meade. 

 

Brandon had shown her a tenderness, yet deep, heartfelt passion she had never experienced with Brad and it was something she treasured up until they re-united decades later. 

 

She had spent so much of her life with her first husband. She gave Bradford Meade two children. She had given him her heart and soul. But did that make him her…soul mate? Or did that title belong to Brandon, the one who had held her in his heart for all those years, more or less waiting for her to come back to him?


	7. Chapter 7

Claire tried desperately to keep both Alex and little Daniel holding onto her hand as they pointed and pulled her excitedly towards the pumpkins at the October festival they had talked her into taking them to, Alex dressed as Wonder Woman, of all crazy things and Daniel as the cutest Superman she’d ever seen. 

She thought with a chuckle, if only Betty could see her husband at this age, so adorable, with his huge, blue eyes and his boyish grin. She couldn’t help but wonder if she should look up Bill Gates and see if he had figured out how to do the cell phone cameras yet in his parent’s basement or something.

He looked up at her and smiled, pulling on her arm, “Mommy, hurry! There’s the pumb-kins. See? The man’s weighing um now! Alex, see? We can go sit inside one. It’ll be cool.”

Seven year old Alex rolled his eyes at his little brother Daniel’s suggestion, “Gross! You can sit inside a disgusting old carved out pumpkin if you want to, but I’m not going to do it. It’s too nasty! Mom, do I have to? Why do we always have to do what HE wants? He’s such a baby!”

“Am NOT! Alex, take that back! I’m not a baby. I’m Superman. You’d better not be mean to me. Mommy’s here. She doesn’t let you boss me around!”

Claire rolled her eyes. Now she really couldn’t help but think maybe, just this once, she’d be okay to grab a quick hard cider at that booth she saw earlier. She almost lost grip of Daniel’s hand as she ran into a man in his late twenties, early thirties. At first, she almost didn’t recognize him. Then she gasped, seeing how different he looked.

“Brandon! Oh my God! You look….amazing! Wow! I….almost didn’t know you.”

The man squinted at her, then looked at the two young boys who seemed determined to get Claire to release them as she stood, almost open-mouthed at seeing the man she had been married to for almost five years now after meeting forty years ago. Well, she tried to do the math in her head and just decided, as long as she stayed sober, she would just try and forget about her ‘past or future’ life as she liked to consider the memories that plagued her ever since she had fallen into this rabbit hole seven years ago. At least, it seemed like seven years to her. 

Sometimes she doubted her own sanity and wondered if she had made up the whole scenario of the life she remembered vividly, with Bradford cheating on her with Fey for all those years, and her becoming an alcoholic. Meeting Betty and watching Daniel finally settle down and marry her after his accident and of course Alex. Or should she say Alexis?

She found this life much calmer. She and Brad had moved back to New York not long after Daniel was born and he had bought the building from Cal and of course, Brad had been just as successful as she knew he was destined to be. So far, Claire had managed to send Fey Sommers out of her husband’s path with a well-placed call to one of Vicky Hartley’s friends in Paris who had offered Fey a job as Creative Director and a huge salary. 

She had reasoned out that if Fey Sommers hadn’t messed things up for her, perhaps she and Brad would have been able to make things work. He was the father of her children after all, and she did love the man. He clearly still loved her. Brandon….well, she tried not to think about Brandon. Surely he would be happier without her, bringing him so much pain, too, she had convinced herself.

But here he was, looking handsomer than she ever remembered. The man literally took her breath away. He seemed just as affected by her. He smiled, looking down at Daniel, “So…Superman, is it? And…Wonder Woman? Great guises, there!”

Daniel tried to show his tiny bicep to Brandon, making a face as he grunted, “See, I’m stronger than a speedy locomoto!”

Alex rolled his eyes, “It’s locomo-TIVE, you sillyhead!”

“Stop callin me that, you…poopoo head!”

Claire laughed and so did Brandon, and as his hand brushed against her hand, she felt shivers go up her spine. Their eyes locked for a moment that seemed to last for an eternity. 

Brandon smiled and asked, “So good to meet you. Sorry to seem…forward, Miss, but have we met somewhere? I know that sounds like…as I believe you American’s call it, ‘a line’ but honestly, you do seem terribly familiar to me. Are you in publishing, perhaps?”

She smiled back at him, “In a way. I’ve just enrolled in some courses to get into the field myself. My husband has been buying several magazines back in the United States and is in the process of finalizing a deal to purchase the rights to a much smaller publishing firm here in London that specializes in fashion only, although he currently owns about five different magazines in New York. Why, are you in publishing, too?” She asked slyly, knowing full well he was.

He nodded, “Yes, of course, you’re Claire Meade, Bradford’s wife. I knew you looked familiar. I’ve seen your family photo on his desk when I interviewed last week at Mode UK for the managing editor position. I’m not really much for fashion, but I’ve been in publishing for some time at Dunne’s and I’m rather looking for a change. 

So…you’re MRS. Bradford Meade, then. Pity.” He grinned, showing off that dimple of his she would never grow tired of. Especially seeing it before he had a few more wrinkles surrounding it.

She pretended to blush, “What’s that supposed to mean, it’s a pity? Are you flirting with me, Brandon? I’m a happily married woman with two children.”

He narrowed his eyes, “Did I mention my first name was Brandon?”

She was flustered, “I…well, I’m sure you must have. Anyway, it was nice…um…meeting you. I have to go, though. These two little monsters really need to use the…uh…loo, and they want to see the giant pumpkins.”

“No I don’t, mommy! I told you, it’s nasty in that thing!” Alex was no help, as Claire tried to beat a hasty retreat, scared to death at the way her heart was thumping so hard inside her chest that she felt as if it might burst at any minute.

“I do! I want to see the pumbkin and sit inside it, Mommy! Let’s go. I don’t have to pee pee, though. I’m a big boy. I can hold it till after we see the pumbkins.” Claire smiled gratefully at her younger son for rescuing her.

Brandon nodded, “Of course. It was…lovely to have met you, as well, Mrs. Meade. Perhaps our paths will cross again in future. Good day. Cheerio, uh…boys. Have a nice day!”

“Goodbye, Brandon.” Claire nodded, watching him go off rather sadly. Finally, Alex and Daniel pulled on her arms again.

Daniel’s eyes widened as he saw a line of children all dressed in costume, waiting in line to collect candy, “Mommy, I want to see all the funny costjumes and get some candy, pweese?”

“It’s gonna rot your two teeth!” Alex teased. 

Daniel made a face, and put the hand his mother wasn’t holding tightly to his mouth, trying to count. “I got a….whole bunch of tooths! You’re just jealous because yours are all coming out!”

“Yeah, but I’ll get bigger ones and daddy gives me money for these baby ones. That’s all you have is baby ones.”

“Alex! Stop teasing your brother.” Claire reprimanded her eldest, and looked back at Brandon, watching his form out of sight. She could have sworn he turned back to look at her.

 

“Brandon? Are you still here?” Betty stepped inside the well-appointed, familiar room and gave her father-in-law a sympathetic shake of her head. “You’re going to wear yourself out, you barely sleep anymore. I know you’re retired, but…you still can’t spend every waking hour here with her. 

You can’t sleep here. I’m worried about your health.” She hesitated, looking at the familiar face of the woman she had grown to love almost as much as her own mother over the years, “Is she…is there any change?”

He shook his head rather sadly, placing his hand on Claire’s and patting it tenderly, “Not yet. But…I know my Claire is in there still, Betty. I swear I can see her smiling sometimes. It’s as if she’s remembering things, trying to find her way back to us.” 

Betty nodded and fought back her tears, both at this man’s obvious torture in seeing the woman he loved so much in this state and at the thought that none of them might ever get to speak to Claire again. She had been in this coma ever since her heart attack three months ago. 

What were the chances she would ever fully recover, Betty couldn’t help but wonder. But to Brandon, looking at his hopeful face she put on her best smile, “I’m sure she will, Brandon. She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Ugly Betty!
> 
> A/N: This chapter has some angst; be prepared.

A few minutes after Brandon left to take a short break from his vigil over his wife, Betty closed her eyes, trying to remember what Claire’s voice sounded like. 

She flashed back years earlier to the night of her going away party at Mode, when the woman had first intimated that Daniel might actually have feelings for her. Betty smiled, remembering how Claire had told her about having a ‘theory’ and had given her that knowing smile.

Then she thought of the concern on Claire’s face when she came back to London, after Daniel’s accident, thinking how close he had come to dying. She remembered them hugging outside his hospital room, both streaming down tears that he was still alive. The time of his opening and dedication ceremony to Arthur Finney, the cab driver who had actually died, and in whose memory Daniel had dedicated his foundation. 

And of course, their wedding, the birth of all three of their children, as well as Claire and Brandon’s wedding, and so many wonderful moments they had shared over the last ten years. Betty felt as if she was losing her own mother all over again. Claire had become such a huge part of her life, especially since they had both moved to London.

Betty’s magazine had become a huge success, but more and more, she and Daniel had both stepped back over the past few years, enjoying spending more time at home with the kids, watching them grow so fast. 

She heard a familiar voice, and felt her hand being squeezed, “He loves you so much, Betty. Never forget that. You’re the reason he’s the man he is today. Brad did the right thing hiring you. I know he didn’t always let Daniel know how much he loved him, but he did recognize how perfect you were for his son at least. I’ll always be grateful to the son-of-a-bitch for bringing you into all our lives.”

“Claire? Oh my God, Claire! You’re awake? You’re alive! Mommy, please come back to us. We all love you so much. Daniel and the kids, and Alexis and DJ and Brandon…we miss you so much. Please come back. Wake up!” Betty hugged the older woman and saw her eyes flutter a bit, and caught a brief smile, then watched in despair as her eyes closed again.

Betty threw herself onto Claire’s sunken form and wept bitterly, scared to think that she might have just witnessed the woman’s dying words, just as she had been there when Bradford Meade drew his last breath. This wasn’t fair! She didn’t want to say goodbye to Claire. To the woman she went to for advice; that she looked up to and admired so deeply. The woman who always told her things the way they were, without pulling any punches.

After texting Brandon, Daniel, and Alexis to all come immediately, telling them that Claire had briefly awakened, she paced just outside her room, ready to answer her phone, and field their questions. She tried to remember everything Claire had said, knowing she would get the third degree from her family. 

Although, honestly, the words had seemed mainly just for Betty, just as Bradford’s had been a charge to her to ‘keep Daniel on his path’, Claire’s words had been to tell her how happy she was to have her in her family. Betty felt incredibly guilty as sure enough, when Brandon and Claire’s children both appeared, she couldn’t honestly tell them she had asked about any of them or left with words of how much she loved them. And seeing Brandon’s face when she mentioned Bradford felt like she was twisting a knife. 

He merely nodded, glancing at Daniel, “She’s coming back to us. I know it, son.” 

Betty could almost see Daniel start to say what she knew from his face he was thinking, that he wasn’t his son, but she squeezed his hand and willed him to read her thoughts that now was not the time to declare himself proudly as Bradford Meade’s sole male heir. 

Daniel glanced at his wife, seemingly reading her thoughts, and pulled Betty in front of him, then patted Brandon’s hand, trying to manage a smile, “I’m sure she’s fighting. Mom’s not a quitter. She never has been.”

Alexis nodded, “Hell, no! She’s a tough broad. Um…do you think, maybe we should get Tyler back here? He would want to be here…either way. Don’t you think, Daniel?”

It seemed interesting to Betty to think that Alexis had started asking more and more over the years for her younger brother’s opinion. They had both decided to have the ‘love nest’ renovated, then put on the market, so it didn’t continue to bring their mother any painful memories. 

They both silently seemed to be somewhat concerned that they might find their mother there, tempted to start drinking again.

And the decision to bring Tyler into the Meade family business, cutting him in with shares in company stock and a good position in marketing in spite of his not technically being a Meade had been one that Daniel had initiated, wanting to bury the hatchet once and for all, ending the whole ‘Team Daniel vs Team Tyler’ nonsense. Really, that was only a private joke between Betty and Daniel mostly now, anyway. 

He kissed her warmly, and whispered, “You’re sure she didn’t say anything else, honey?”

She shook her head sadly, “No, I’m afraid not. I know she loves you all so much, though. I’m sure she’s fighting to get back to us. I could feel her trying, and I think she wants to be back here. She had a faraway look, as if she was thinking about the past, but…she also seemed to be aware of who I was and what was going on. I’m sure this is a good sign. It has to be…”

He could sense Betty beginning to get emotional and he pulled her close, hugging her. She melted into his strong arms, releasing all the tension and fear she felt. She couldn’t lose Claire. None of them could. After so long, they had all been walking on eggshells these past three months, thinking she would never wake up again. But now she had and they had to have hope again.

It was decided to call Tyler and tell him to come, and they would all take turns even more than they had been, talking to their mother and willing her back to them. Lately they had gotten lax and almost began to lose hope that she would recover. Only Brandon had truly kept the faith that he would speak to his wife again.

After they got home, Daniel paid the babysitter, and after a short time, came into their bedroom, in time to see Betty sitting at her vanity desk, brushing her hair. She was wearing a nightgown Claire had given her last Christmas. It was black and lacy and low cut. Betty had teased her mother-in-law about such a gift. Daniel had smiled and kissed Claire on the cheek, “Thanks, Mom. That one’s more a present for me!”

He smiled, seeing her wearing it again. Daniel knew it was his fault, since he had started flying back and forth to New York more lately. He said he was worried about the family company, but Betty saw through him, of course. She knew he was hiding out and trying to stay occupied so he wouldn’t have to face losing his mother. 

It’s what he always did. He found something to keep him busy so he didn’t have to deal with his feelings. And now…he simply didn’t have the courage to think about Claire dying. It couldn’t happen. Not to her. 

He leaned down and looked at his wife in the mirror. If it was possible, having three children had made Betty even more beautiful than the day when they got married. He couldn’t help but flash back to the day he saw her at her sister’s wedding in Queens, when he first saw her in that green dress, with her hair up and he had been floored by how she affected him. 

Then when Hilda said her speech, he had known. Right then, he knew he was in love with this woman. He should have just gone to her that moment and told her. Because the second you realize you’re in love with another person, you should tell them. Of course, hind sight is twenty-twenty.

Ever since his accident, he tried not to leave words unspoken. He had reconciled with Tyler, with Connor Owens, with Wilhelmina, with Sofia Reyes, even, sending her an email that he shared with Betty first, and inviting her to their wedding. Perhaps thankfully, she didn’t come but had sent them a gift and a note congratulating them both and saying that she wasn’t that surprised. He no longer believed in regret. He tried to be honest and forthright with people. Something that had been fairly difficult at first, given the Meade history of so many secrets and family dramas. But with Betty’s support and love, it had become second nature to him now, for the most part. 

Unfortunately, he still lied to himself when he was dealing with something huge like this that he didn’t want to admit was bothering him. When Betty had lost their second child late in her second tri-mester, itt had been tough on both of them. 

He had been so excited when they first found out she was pregnant, and Betty knew he was devastated, but he had played the big, strong husband for her, trying to be the one she leaned on. Eventually, she found him literally hiding in his car, crying one day and she had just climbed on his lap and held him. 

Now, as he looked at her, he leaned down and dropped a kiss on her shoulder, “Hey there, gorgeous lady. Let’s try and be discreet, so we don’t wake up the kiddos this time, huh?”

She raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry, don’t think you’re getting lucky tonight, Mr. Meade. You think every time I wear a sexy nightgown that means you’re getting into my pants?”

“Well, yeah. Come on, Mrs. Meade. You know it’s been a while. You can’t tell me you aren’t getting a little….lonely? We’ve both been so busy. You’ve been doing the ‘soccer mom’ thing lately and I’ve been gone a lot.”

She didn’t smile, but merely nodded and he picked up on her mood, caressing her shoulders as he stood behind her, “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

She shook her head, then gave him a pointed look in the mirror, “Why don’t you tell me, Daniel? You’ve been running away again and we both know it. You’re never here. The kids miss your bed time stories. And, as you’ve pointed out, so do I. How long has it been? Should I be worried?”

He looked at her, puzzled, then as she raised her eyebrow he caught her meaning, “Huh? What? Seriously? Betty, honey, NO! Of course not! Come on, you know that will NEVER be an issue with me. For us…I’m NOT my father!”

She spoke gently, as he came around and kneeled in front of her, holding her hands. She could see his eyes starting to glisten. She knew she had touched a nerve. He hated for her to be jealous or even insinuate he could ever be compared to Bradford and his philandering ways. He had made it absolutely clear to Betty when they first married that cheating is something she need never worry about in their marriage, especially since he saw the damage it had done not only to his parents’ marriage, but how it had poisoned their whole family.

She hugged him, and whispered in his ear, “I know, Daniel. I know. It’s not that. I just know you’re hiding. It’s because you’re scared you’re going to lose your mom, so you don’t want to be here. You don’t want to face the possibility, right?”

He nodded, his head now in her lap. She stroked his hair gently for a few minutes, then lifted up his chin to face her, “Daniel, I really believe she’s going to get better now. I didn’t know before. I was scared, too. But now that she woke up, I have hope again. I think we all need to do what you suggested earlier and keep talking to her, let her know how much we all still need her.”

He nodded and slid his hands up the sides of her thighs, looking at her meaningfully, as he closed the distance between them slowly. Finally, when their lips were inches apart, he leaned his forehead against hers, as he began exploring her body; the body he needed to be next to in order to feel whole again, he replied, “I know. I felt it, too. She’s trying to get back to us. Betty, honey, I’m so sorry I ran away. 

You were right. I was scared we were losing her and I didn’t want to face it. You know me so well, baby. I didn’t mean to leave you, though. And I did. I left you and the kids because I didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to deal with this. I’m so sorry. I was wrong.” 

“It’s okay, Daniel. I understand. But we all missed you, too.”

He buried his head in her neck and sobbed for a few seconds. “I can’t lose her, Betty. I love her so much. I just can’t face it.”

She tried to stay strong for him, “I know you do, sweetie. I know. We won’t lose her. We’ll get her back. She’ll come back to us.”

Daniel wiped at his eyes and nodded, as he pulled her up to wrap his arms around her and hold her face, “I love you, Betty. You’re the only one besides Mom who has ever really cared about me. Who totally gets me. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you in my life.” He leaned down and kissed her deeply and passionately, pulling her close.

Betty could feel the pain and fear in his kiss, and she wanted to make him forget about everything except how much she loved him. She began quickly removing his shirt and as anxious as she was to get to him, and hold his warm body against her, Daniel seemed even more desperate to do the same. 

He slid her nightgown down her shoulders and off her arms, then began dropping kisses on her smooth, olive skin, relishing how soft she felt. He had missed her so much going back and forth to New York. He whispered, “I should never have left. I need you, Betty. I always will, honey.”

“I need you, too, Daniel.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!

Claire couldn’t help wondering why she couldn’t get her heart to stop beating so fast, after seeing Brandon at the festival. Then, seeing that young woman there that looked just like Betty, crying and carrying on like that, telling her how much everyone loved her. It was all very strange. Daniel and Alex weren’t about to let her forget they were hungry for lunch, however. So, she tried to put it out of her mind and forget about it. 

She decided it was the best thing for her family if she was able to just concentrate on dealing with one day at a time, staying sober and keeping things happy with Brad and the boys. It was best if she forgot all about Brandon and the life she remembered with him, and maybe keeping Fey Sommers away from Brad would make things work out better for everyone concerned. 

The woman was poison, in every way imaginable. Let her go spread her evil somewhere far away from Claire and her life. If that meant she had to sacrifice, she was willing to do it. It didn’t stop the nightmares about Cal and especially Tyler, as well as Alexis over the next few years. 

Even now, she could notice signs of her older son being unhappy in his own skin. Funny, she hadn’t picked up on that all those years ago while she was drinking. Of course, she was looking for it now, so it seemed so obvious. Something Brad didn’t want to see, even when she tried to bring it up. 

“He’ll grow out of all this stuff. He’s just around you too much, Claire. You pull him and Daniel out of school to go shopping with you and you baby them both too much. Daniel’s already turning into a ‘mama’s boy’! Let me take Alex out to a football game, at least. He’s getting old enough now. My dad never babied me and I turned out alright.”

Claire rolled her eyes, “Brad, stop it! Daniel is NOT a mama’s boy. And even if he is…you can’t force Alexis to be something she’s not happy with being!”

“WHAT the HELL are you talking about, Claire? Listen to you! You’re calling our eldest son Alexis? HE is a young man, not a girl! That does it; you finish your degree next week. I’m going to actually take some vacation time, and spend more quality time with my son.”

“You have two sons, Bradford!”

“Why the hell do you keep calling me Bradford? Look, I’m sorry, honey. I know I’ve been working too much lately.”

“Lately? How about the last five years? I barely even see you. You wonder why you get so attracted to other women and why I started drinking…”

He held her arms, “You started drinking? I thought you said things were going better? Claire…sweetie, I’m sorry. I’ll spend more time at home with you and the boys. Of course I know I have two sons. And I love you and Alex and Daniel. I love you all. You have to know that. 

I’m killing myself, so one day, my children and grandchildren can look up and see that building in Manhattan and know how much they meant to me, how much I wanted them to not have to worry about every penny like we did at first, back in London when we first got married.”

She softened, as he held her and picked up her chin to face him, “But…I don’t want to neglect you. I hate to think of you being tempted to drink. Maybe you’re right. Once you get that piece of paper, and you feel better about yourself, come work at Mode. Hell, I’ll sign the paperwork so you own it and you can run it however you want. 

There is a young woman who keeps applying as an editor, she seems to really have a lot on the ball. Her name is Wanda something. Her dad’s a senator. He and I played golf a few times. He says she lives and breathes fashion. 

She isn’t all that put together right now, but I don’t know. Maybe you could give her some makeup tips, show her the ropes around Mode. You know fashion pretty well yourself. You and Vicky used to go to a lot of fashion shows in London and Paris, and even a few in Milan when we lived in Europe, right?”

Claire grinned, suddenly realizing who was talking about. “Wanda, huh? And her father is a senator?”

“Yeah. She is really smart. I think you’ll like her.”

“Oh, I doubt I would, actually.”

He shrugged, starting to pour himself a brandy, but glancing at his wife and making them both club soda’s, and handing Claire a glass as he continued, “I met her briefly when she came home from boarding school. She knew all about some woman she met in Paris named Fey…something. She seemed all excited about interning for the woman. 

But her dad said he’d like it if she stayed in New York, so he could see her more often. I think he regrets sending her off to boarding school for all these years, because he didn’t know how to raise a young girl by himself.”

Claire rolled her eyes, trying to decide if she wanted to have anything whatsoever to do with ‘Wanda’. On one hand, maybe if she was an influence for good in the woman’s life, she wouldn’t turn out evil. And if she kept a young Wilhelmina Slater away from Fey Sommers, giving her a break wouldn’t that be infinitely better than letting them continue their association in Paris, only to work together and become the evil duo she knew they would eventually become, both eventually seducing her husband in their own time?

But on the other hand, once she had groomed an even younger and possibly more seductive ‘Wanda’, perhaps she would merely go after Brad that much sooner herself. This was insane! How could she decide what to do? She was no fortune teller. 

She had obviously not succeeded in preventing Alex from hating who he was or Brad from showing favoritism towards his eldest son or from being such a work-aholic. She even had a few doubts about his fidelity, in spite of making ‘surprise’ visits with the boys to basically check up on him and never catching him doing anything but working non-stop, at least so far. But having all these doubts and fears wasn’t healthy, she knew. Yet, how could she NOT doubt him? After all the affairs she knew he had before and must surely still be at least tempted to act that way now?

He soon took away her fears, though, whispering, “I’m so proud of you, Claire-ity. You’re graduating! You did it! I knew you could do it. You’re my Claire bear…you are the strongest woman I’ve ever known. We all love you so much, me and Alex, and Daniel and Betty and Tyler and Brandon.”

She pulled away looking at him strangely, “What did you just say? Tyler? And…Brandon? And Betty?”

He laughed, “Huh? Betty? Who’s Betty? And I never said anything about Tyler or Brandon…you’re hearing things, baby. Come here, let me kiss away your stress, okay? I missed you so much today. I kept thinking about you and how much I wanted to do this…and this, and this….” She closed her eyes, forgetting the strange things she thought she heard him saying, giving into his kisses and touch. 

“Mom…I love you. You have to come back to us. You know we need you. Ariel keeps sending you messages that she really misses the way you read Little Mermaid to her. She said neither Betty nor I do the voices as good as you. 

I know you have worked so hard and we’re all really proud of you, but you have a whole life still waiting for you and we all are thinking about you all the time. You can’t give up. 

You have to fight to get back to us. Get back to your life, to your family. We all love and miss you.” Daniel rested his head on his mother’s side, holding tightly to her hand, hating how pale and cold she felt to his touch.

“Daniel? Is that you?” He could swear he felt her stroking his hair gently, as he wiped at his eyes and looked up to see her eyes open slightly.

“Mom? Mom…yes, it’s me, Daniel. You hear me? Can you see me? Mom! Are you awake? Are you coming back to us?”

“Daniel…you look so much like your father at this age. Well, except you have more hair still…” She smiled, stroking his cheek.”

He wiped at his eyes, looking at her hopefully, “Mom! Thank God! You’re awake! You’ve come back to us!”

She smiled and shook her head slightly, “I’m not done yet, sweet boy. Mommy’s got to fix some things first. I love you, and Alexis and Tyler…and Bra…”she drifted back into unconsciousness, as Daniel grabbed her arms gently and hugged her, “MOM! Mom, don’t go back to sleep! Please…” He began sobbing again, for a few moments, then ran to get the nurses.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moments of Claire-ity  
> Chapter 10  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Ugly Betty!
> 
> A/N: Last chapter. Let’s see how this resolves itself! Thanks for your support on this somewhat different type of story. I knew Claire had fans besides me. This is going to be quite a bit longer than most chapters, and a bit ‘trippy’. But remember we started out in the late sixties, (plus I’m living in Portland now, so we have to ‘keep it weird’!)

Claire tried to brush off this nightmare, but it kept haunting her. She was having more and more every night now, as the years went swiftly by for her. She continued to dream about Betty, Daniel, Alexis, Tyler, and most of all Brandon, all talking to her and pleading with her to come back to them. 

But she was resolved to try and find her way through this ‘new life’ and try to make things work out for her family much better this time. No matter what that meant for her, personally. She had long since decided she would have stayed in jail after killing Fey if she had known for certain it would be the best thing for her kids. 

The only thing she was concerned about right now was how she would get Betty into Daniel’s life. He was doing better in this life, it seemed. He and his father spent far more time together and Alex, although Claire could still see how unhappy he was, he and Daniel got along better, as well and he seemed determined to try and change himself into the kind of man his father wanted him to be.

As for her, her own job working at Mode seemed somewhat empty and hollow. She didn’t mind being around the fashion industry, she was definitely ‘on trend’, especially with her prior knowledge of what was going to be successful in the future, everyone thought she was a freaking genius. But as much as she hated to admit it, she was bored. Bored to death! 

She found herself almost missing the element of danger and intrigue she had grown accustomed to, waiting to see what crazy scheme Wilhelmina was going to come up with next. But she finally decided to take things into her own hands and looked up the Suarez house in Queens. 

It was time to make things happen. She couldn’t seem to lure Marc St. James away from his job at Elle. (Who knew his real name was Weiner? Poor man! No wonder he was always so snarky!) And of course, since Fey was working happily in Paris, there was no Amanda.

The door opened and she smiled, seeing the familiar face of someone she had grown to love like one of her own grandchildren, “Justin! It’s so great to see you!” 

He stared at her blankly at first, then smiled wanly, “Aren’t you? Claire Meade? Wow, Mrs. Meade, what are you doing here in Queens? Are you lost?”

She shook her head, “No, dear boy. I’m here to offer you an internship at Mode. I know how into fashion you are and we could certainly use your help during Fashion Week!”

He looked almost hopeful, but then put his head down, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Meade. I…well, honestly, I would have loved to do that a few years ago. But, I think maybe I’m going to go into something more stable like finance.”

Now it was Claire’s turn to stare blankly at the young man, who’s clothing seemed to be rather bland compared to his usual bright, colorful yet fashion-wise ensembles she was accustomed to seeing Justin wear. “Finance? You can’t be serious? But, Justin, you have a gift for fashion! You know so much, you’re going to be an amazing editor, like your Aunt Betty someday and eventually run your own fashion magazine, I can just about predict you have an outstanding future in the fashion industry!”

He sighed, looking at her somewhat mournfully, “Yes, I did have those dreams a long time ago. But, wait, how do you know I had an Aunt named Betty? And she was never an editor. She wanted to be. She had dreams of running her own magazine one day.”

“She did! She does…Justin, what do you mean, she WAS never an editor? And why are you talking about her in the past tense. Did something happen to your aunt? Where is she? I really need to speak to her, to see her. It’s been so long! I miss her so much! I’m almost forgetting what she looks like!”

Justin nodded, “Me, too. I really loved my Aunt Betty. She gave us all hope and really helped us keep our dreams alive. I’m sorry, Mrs. Meade. I don’t know how or when you met my aunt, but she died almost two years ago, waiting for the subway. 

She got jostled by some stupid woman from Tucson who didn’t know her way around the city and panicked, knocking my poor Aunt Betty onto the train tracks.”

Claire’s face lost all it’s color; this was too much to be born! It was bad enough that she had to endure her life without even the hope of Brandon, and had tried to quiet her conscience over the lack of Amanda and Tyler in this alternate world she was trying to live in, but for Betty to be gone, to have been killed in a freak accident? It wasn’t fair! She started to stumble and Justin helped her sit down.

“Are you alright, Mrs. Meade? I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. I really didn’t realize you knew my Aunt. Do you need something? Do you want me to get you some water?”

“Do you have anything stronger?” She closed her eyes, not being able to catch her breath. It had been thirty-three years but she still hadn’t forgotten the taste of a good brandy or vodka on the rocks. The smooth, warm liquid filling her senses and sending her away from all the pain she felt. 

He ran to a cabinet getting a bottle of tequila and holding it up, “Will this do? I know Mom has a few when she thinks I’m in bed sometimes. Especially since grandpa got deported. It’s been tough on us both.”

Of course, since Betty was gone, Ignacio would never have been able to get his citizenship, Claire realized. This was like some Tim Burton version of It’s a Wonderful Life, she thought as she took the glass from Justin and stared at it. Of course in her case, “It’s a Crappy Life and it just keeps getting crappier!” might be a more apt title, she thought to herself wryly. 

How could she have thought that she could change things for the better? She wasn’t some deity! She had no idea how to make things better, clearly! By sacrificing her own happiness in order to preserve her marriage to Brad at all costs, and to try and make her children’s lives better, she hadn’t really fixed anything. She’d made it worse!

Daniel still seemed to be going from woman to woman, although he and his father got along slightly better, but without competing with Alex, who just seemed unhappy all the time, he never pushed himself to be better. He barely graduated from Harvard, taking almost six years, even with their sizable donations, because he was too busy partying. 

He had finally stopped just last year with the womanizing, but she had warned him away from that stupid Reyes woman only for him to now have gotten mixed up with some French model (not DJ’s mother, Lucy, though, since Claire couldn’t for the life of her find the girl, and was scared to death somehow Fey Sommers would pop up). So, of course, DJ had never been conceived. How would she have been able to orchestrate that one, anyway? 

Tracking down some hand model whose last name she honestly didn’t even remember in Paris for her son and cheering them on to have sex? Daniel never mentioned Lucy to her and Alex barely spoke of his ‘girlfriends’ to her (if he even had any other than Jordan). She felt like she was trying to play God with everyone’s lives and failing miserably right now.

Justin sat down next to her and put his hand on hers, “Are you okay, Mrs. Meade?”

“Call me Claire. You always called me Claire…well, I imagine a life where you do, anyway. A life where Betty and my son Daniel are together and happy and have three children of their own and you work with Marc St. James, who turned out to be a nice man, and your mother is married to Bobby and has her own beauty shop and had twins, a boy and girl. 

Where I’m remarried to the love of my life named Brandon and…your grandfather is here and my grandkids call him Grandpa and call my Brandon Abuelo…and where my son Tyler is married to a sweet girl named Amanda…and I’ve even come to almost respect a woman named Wilhelmina and she’s finally happily married to Connor Owens…I miss my real life!” She finally took a breath, staring at the drink in her hand. 

“It was crazy and mixed up and had all kinds of drama, but things were how they’re supposed to be! I miss your aunt so much! Betty was such a positive force for all of us. She helped me stay centered and she was so good for Daniel. 

I’m his mother and I love him, but he’s a grown man now. He needs a good woman like Betty to help him stay on his path. I can’t do that for Daniel. I can’t seem to do it for anyone. I desperately need her help!”

Justin looked at her, somewhat surprised by all the things she said, but he took the glass away and smiled, “I like your scenario much better, Mrs…I mean Claire. I miss my grandpa terribly and…Aunt Betty! She was just….she was…incredible! I can’t believe she’s really gone. 

I know Mom misses her, too. Especially since Dad died. She’s really lonely. She dated my coach for a while, until she found out he was lying to her and was married. Now…well, she hasn’t really met anyone. She’s too busy working all the time at some stupid bar that’s demeaning to women! 

And I just…well, since Aunt Betty didn’t get the job at Meade, she tried working at a local newspaper, but I think when grandpa got deported, she lost her spark, too. She never really recovered from that stupid guy cheating on her, either. She had so much potential, but…never got the opportunities she deserved, you know?”

Claire felt a huge lump growing in her throat, as she nodded. She had spent so much time, trying to steer her own family in what she thought was the right direction, she hadn’t thought about how Daniel had helped Betty grow, as well. Theirs was a truly symbiotic relationship. 

Their families were far more interdependent than she had realized, the Meade’s and Suarez clans. She had neglected to check in on this part of her extended family, thinking they were always the strong ones, that hers was the messed up portion. 

Now…Justin and Hilda were alone and miserable! Betty was gone and Ignacio hadn’t been able to realize his dream of becoming a citizen and had to leave his family behind. Betty was gone! That just couldn’t be! She pulled Justin close and hugged him.

“Justin, I’m so sorry about Betty! I loved her like a daughter! She called me Mom sometimes.”

“She did? I...I’m so sorry. I never knew you two had even met! I’m really surprised she didn’t mention you. She knew what a huge fan I used to be of Fashion Buzz. She and I always watched Project Runway and Idol and Dancing with the Stars together, and she encouraged my dreams about fashion and acting and singing. 

I miss her so much! Wow, I can’t believe she was so close to Claire Meade! That’s…incredible! You know…I found her diary the other day. She had so many great dreams about all our lives. Would you like to read some of it?”

Claire wiped away her tears and nodded, “Yes, very much, Justin. Thank you. You’re so kind. Just like her. I know how proud your mother must be of what a nice young man you are.”

Justin smiled, “Thanks.” He ran upstairs and returned with a book, “Here, you can borrow it for a while. Just get it back to me when you can. I never showed it to Mom yet. I don’t think she’s ready to face losing her. Sometimes I hear her talking to my dad and Aunt Betty like they’re still here. She’s trying her best to be both parents for me and to help me forget how much I miss Grandpa and Aunt Betty, but…it’s been hard on her, too. She was so young when she had me. I know we’re lucky we at least have each other!”

Claire looked at Justin fondly, seeing that little spark in him that she had always seen in Betty. Her Betty…

She looked at the diary and hugged Justin, promising to keep in touch and get the diary back to him soon. She ran back out to her waiting town car and leafed through the pages. The diary of a young woman who she never even got to meet in this life. 

This horrible, hollow life, she thought to herself, glad (and yet not glad) she had saw fit not to have any booze stocked in her town car right now. She had been brave in front of Justin, trying to will herself not to drink in front of him, despite her momentary lapse in asking for the drink in the first place. But now…

She looked down at Betty’s diary and began to read, “…I know Lance Bass and I will meet someday. He seems like such a great guy! He’s so sensitive and kind. And I just want to melt when he looks into the camera. It’s like he’s looking into my soul. He’s got such beautiful blue eyes!” 

Claire laughed at that, and skipped much further ahead, “I went to Meade Publications today for my interview! I saw this girl named Connie or Claudia I think, something with a C. Anyway, she was wearing this killer poncho. It was really stylish. Once I get the job, I know exactly what I’m going to wear on my first day at Mode! It’s going to be great!”

She smiled, fondly remembering Betty’s red poncho, and red glasses, and braces. She was so youthful and happy and had brought such enthusiasm and hope to the halls of Mode. 

She skipped to the next page and read sadly, “I didn’t get the job at Mode. The stupid guy wouldn’t even listen to me! I tried to tell him how much I love magazines, but I could tell he just didn’t like the way I looked. I guess Hilda’s right. 

I should just be happy with my life here in Queen’s. I could swear I felt a life change coming when I got the interview. But sometimes when your life seems to change for the worse, it’s only because something even better is meant to happen. 

Right now, maybe I need to concentrate on helping my family from where I am. Having all these selfish dreams about becoming a big magazine owner isn’t helping anyone else. I should be less selfish. I need to forgive Walter for cheating on me, too, I suppose. People make mistakes. None of us is perfect. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

Claire skipped ahead, seeing that Betty had tried to keep her positive attitude up until she must have been in the accident that took her life. She shook her head, unable to fathom life without Betty Suarez. Betty Suarez-Meade. The mother of her grandchildren. 

Now she would never know those grandchildren. She had messed things up so badly! She threw herself across the back seat and wept bitterly, trying to figure out how she would be able to go on without Betty in her life. The young woman had been her cheerleader so many times she had lost count over the years. She knew that Daniel would never find another woman like Betty, either.

She heard a voice as she drifted off, “Claire? Are you there, sweetie? I love you so much. I miss you. I miss everything about you, luv. Your smile, your laugh, the way you look at me as if I’m daft when I ask you a silly question. 

I can’t go on without you any longer. I need you to come back to me. I promise, I’ll retire completely. No more consulting. I’m all yours to command, Claire. We’ll take off and see the world, just like you always wanted. I think a nice Greek isle cruise would be lovely this time of year, don’t you?”

Brandon. She missed Brandon even more than Betty, more than anyone. She had been denying how much she missed the man, trying desperately to convince herself that Brad Meade was the only man she ever loved. He was the father of her children (well, at least the two of them she still had now) and he had told her on his death bed that he had loved her more than any other woman. That meant something, didn’t it? 

Of course, at the time, the old jerk had already broken her heart so many times she couldn’t count! He had cheated on her for over twenty years with that bitch Fey Sommers, he had divorced her and come dangerously close to marrying Wilhelmina Slater, for God’s sake! Not to mention all the nameless, faceless women who had found their way into his bed. 

Really, this was the man she had sacrificed even getting to know Brandon for? She fumed silently, trying to decide why she had even thought she really loved Brad. The man was insufferable! He snored like a freight train, he was incredibly strange and beyond kinky in bed (he had made some crazy sex dungeon at Mode and tried to get her into bondage and was always playing with her damn feet!) It drove her crazy. 

Trying to satisfy such a perverted man when she was used to how sweet and sensitive and giving Brandon was had seriously made her skin crawl!

Now she was beyond angry, she was furious at him. This life wasn’t what she signed up for at all. She had the ‘perfect marriage’, and kids that were better behaved perhaps, at least on the outside. Daniel kept up appearances, but seemed to be secretly unhappy and unsettled. 

Alex was miserable, she knew no matter how many times she had tried to bring up the issue of his sex, he never wanted to talk about it with her, content to live in the closet, and go to football games with his father, putting up a façade. 

And now seeing how terrible Justin and Hilda had it, she wanted to just throw herself onto that train track where Betty had met her untimely demise. She hurried to the house, trying to figure out what her next move should be. Dammit, she thought, this was exactly the kind of problem she would have taken to Betty to try and figure out! Or Brandon…

She hurried up the stairs, but as she went to open the bedroom door, she saw Bradford in bed with the woman she had tried to protect her family from all this time, the woman who had tried to poison her literally and had done just that since the moment she slithered her way into their lives. Bradford looked back, seeing Claire standing in the door in shock.

He pulled on a robe and ran to her, “Claire, honey. I’m so sorry! This isn’t what it looks like.”

She eyed him narrowly, “Really, BradFORD? Because it looks like you’re screwing a whore to me! You went to Paris? Or did she come here? You know what, it doesn’t even matter. I don’t really care. That’s the thing that’s so strange. I knew she’d find a way to get to you somehow. And to think of all I’ve sacrificed, all I’ve given up to try and keep her away from you all this time. 

Go ahead, screw each other’s brains out for all I care! She can spend a fortune getting pedicures and whipping you like the crazy person that you are…I want a divorce! I can’t believe I ever thought you were the man I was supposed to be with! Brandon is ten times the man you’ll ever be! I hate you! 

I can’t believe I cried when you died before. YOU and Fey should both be gone, not my son Tyler, not sweet little Amanda, and definitely not BETTY! She’s worth a million of both of you put together! I hope you both rot in hell!” 

She stormed out, leaving Bradford scrambling to run after her, but she didn’t even stop to look at Fey, she merely went to her dresser and got out her passport. 

Bradford tried to talk to her, “Claire, honey. I’m sorry. She came after me and I tried to resist. But…”

Claire looked at him, pitifully, “But you’re weak, Bradford…you always were. You’re not nearly as good and strong a man as Daniel. And poor Alex, shouldn’t be Alex. She should be Alexis. You’ve made both our sons terribly unhappy and I’ve been incredibly unhappy all these years, too. And for what? For this? 

I’ve denied myself drinking and because I did that, I thought I had to deny myself love, too. I thought this is just what it felt like to be sober, and that’s why I felt so hollow inside, that it was just a defect in me. But you’re not worth it. And my children have to find their own happiness. I can’t ‘give it’ to them. I see that now.”

He seemed resigned to her determination to leave now, “Where are you going?”

“To London.” She smiled, touching his cheek for a moment, “I need to find my true love. And I just hope he’s still there. Goodbye, Bradford. I miss Brad. But he doesn’t exist anymore. He never did, really. He’s just what I told myself you could be. It’s the best of you and the best of me. It’s our kids. 

I think Daniel’s really the kind of man I thought you could be, but he had a better woman than me helping him stay on his path. I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for you. I guess you’ll just never be as good a man as he is.”

She glared at Fey for a moment, “Stay away from Wanda. She has some good in her, somewhere still. And it’s too bad you didn’t screw around more in your studio fifty-four days, you might have had some purpose to your life other than being a whore if you’d met a nice gay man.”

As Claire turned back to glance upstairs, she looked around at the home she had tried to make here all these years, giving the boys a nice, normal Christmas and pretending to be the Martha Stewart she never felt good enough to be. (But look at that witch, the woman was no saint, Claire thought). 

She had done some things better this time, but completely sacrificing her own happiness and denying those feelings she had for a man she had barely met one time in this life had made her a bitter shell of her former self. She missed her friends at Hot Flash, even her brief time with Yoga in prison and on the lamb in the Hamptons had been at least interesting. This life looked good on paper, but it was no fun. No one was any better off, she realized. 

She looked at the fireplace and saw a stack of magazines, the latest run of a thousand copies, in fact, all with Bradford’s picture on the cover, sitting in his overcompensating desk. She smiled wickedly, and took a match from the fireplace, then called out as she dropped it onto the ugly sofa he had talked her into, and setting fire to the magazines, “Time to leave, lovers! Unless you want to die together like you both deserve!”

She slammed the door on her way out, and turned, watching for a few moments, seeing the flames reach the curtains. She was prepared to call nine one one, just so she didn’t have their deaths on her conscience, but she saw them running out as she got into her Aston Martin and sped away, laughing to herself. 

She smiled, as she arrived at the airport, feeling suddenly free and excited at the same time. She had a plan, sort of. Run into him in Trafalgar Square? No…that was too cliché. Besides, she didn’t want to imitate her son. 

She wondered if she should try and set up Daniel with Hilda? And call her lawyers once she got her divorce to get Ignacio out of Mexico…STOP, she had to halt her spinning wheels, telling herself that she had to stop all her meddling, that all she could do now is try and ‘fix’ her own life. She clearly had no business trying to help her children. She just messed things up for them even more!

She texted Daniel and Alex and told them what she was doing and why and wasn’t particularly surprised to see them text her back, “Good for you, Mom. Make yourself happy. We both love you. What took you so long?” She shook her head, closing her eyes, in anticipation.

Once she arrived in London, Claire went to Mode UK and found his office. She caught her breath as she saw him. His hair was a bit greyer, more like he looked as her husband in her ‘first life’ as she liked to think of it, but otherwise, he was still handsome and fit and still made her heart beat faster as she heard his voice.

“Brandon!” She called out. He turned, and narrowed his eyes for a moment, then a smile slowly spread across his face. He walked out quickly to greet her.

“Claire!” he grinned like he had when he had flirted with her years ago. “You came! I knew you would. It took you long enough, woman. I’m starting to get a bit…dusty, waiting for you to figure out we were meant for one another.” He took both her hands and looked at them as he intertwined them with his own, then kissed them.

She grinned at him, “I’m sorry, have we met?”

He nodded, pulling her face to his, then leaning his forehead against hers, “Mmhmm…yes, my darling. Every night, in my dreams. I knew when I saw you all those years ago that you’d come back to me someday. I know you felt it, too. My heart hasn’t beat like that for anyone since. You’ve ruined me for other women, I’m afraid.”

She felt his lips on hers suddenly, and she melted into his kiss, grabbing his hair, and running her hands through it. “God, I missed those lips! I love you, Brandon, darling! I always have and I always will. You’re the love of my life. I promise I’ll never leave you again.”

She opened her eyes, and saw Brandon, grinning from ear to ear, and hugging her. But why was she in a stupid hospital gown? He kissed her again, quickly and looked up at all the familiar faces that Claire saw now, too, surrounding her. 

He whispered, “As much as I appreciate the kiss, luv, perhaps we should wait till we’ve got you home again before we continue? But I’ve missed your lips as well. It’s good to see your smile and your lovely eyes open again as they should be! 

So…you’re back with us?” He touched her cheek, and kissed her lips again briefly but warmly, looking at her with such love, it made her heart skip a beat again. He always had the power to do that, she realized. He was literally the man of her dreams. But she was finally, really, truly awake. And here he still was, holding tightly to her hand and kissing it, as he turned to their family, still grinning.  
“My sleeping beauty is finally awake, kids! I told you she’d come back to me, to all of us eventually. She just had to find her way back.”

Daniel, Alexis, and Tyler all crowded in, taking turns hugging their mother with relief. “Mom, thank God! Are you gonna stay awake this time? Are you really with us now?” 

Claire smiled and nodded, holding Alexis’ smooth, beautiful face, “Yes, darling. I’m so happy to see you, Alexis. You look so beautiful! Where’s DJ?”

“Right here, grandmere!” He stepped forward and grabbed his grandmother’s hand and kissed it, wiping tears away, “So glad to see you’re alright! I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, honey. So much, you have no idea!” she kissed his cheeks and hugged him gratefully.

Tyler shook his head, then hugged her, “Don’t ever scare us like that, again, okay, Mom? I had to grow up without you. I’ve sort of gotten used to having you around now. Mandy’s been driving me nuts asking about you. The kids are driving us crazy worrying about Grandma Claire, too! We missed you so much!” 

She tried to fight back the tears, as she looked at her youngest son’s handsome face, “Tyler…I’m so happy to see you, sweetie. I promise, I’ll come visit you and Amanda and the kids in New York before Christmas, okay? Who knows, maybe I could persuade you all to come stay with Brandon and I for the holidays this year?”

They all nodded and agreed, relieved and overjoyed at her recovery. Finally, she saw little Betty, crying in the corner. She noticed Daniel go to her and scoop her into his arms, holding her and stroking her hair gently as she got her emotions under check. 

She held out her hand after a few minutes, “Daniel…Betty? I’m so glad you are both here.”

Betty walked over to her and gave her one of those looks. The one that Daniel called her ‘judgy butterfly’ looks for some reason known only to them. She tried to look at Claire sternly, “YOU are in a lot of trouble, young lady!”

Claire smiled, “Really? Why is that?”

“Because, you almost missed out on the good news I’ve wanted to tell your son for the past few weeks, but have been too sad and worried about you and your silly laying around here, scaring us all!”

Claire’s smile spread across her face, “I see. And what would that news be, my sweet Betty? Let me guess. Are you adding to my list of grandbabies I have to try and do silly voices for, perhaps?”

Daniel came and stood behind his wife, and grabbed her waist, reaching around to touch her stomach gently as he leaned down and kissed her cheek, whispering, “Is Mom right, honey? You’re pregnant again?”

Betty smiled and nodded, as she reached out and grabbed Claire’s hand. “Of course. She’s always right. Just like she was when she told me she had a theory about you being in love with me, right, Mom?”

Claire shook her head, “No, dear. I’m not always right. But when I’m not, I know you’ll take up the slack for me. That’s what really amazing daughter-in-law’s do. Where I failed, you succeeded. And you’ve certainly turned this young man into one of my three masterpieces! I missed you, Betty, dear! It’s so wonderful to see you again! So full of life!”

Betty leaned down and hugged her and kissed her cheek, “I missed you, too, Mommy Claire. The kids will be so happy to hear you’re finally awake!”

As she stepped away, patting Daniel’s arm he looked at his mother, shaking his head. He kissed her and stroked her hair lovingly, but wiped away a few stray tears, “I’m so mad at you.”

“I know.” She grabbed his hand. 

“You should have come back to us sooner.” He knelt beside her bed, and kissed her hand. 

She touched his cheek, looking into those deep blue eyes of his, and nodded in agreement with him, “You’re absolutely right, Daniel. I should have. I thought I could change things in my silly mind. I was sure I had it all figured out. 

But sometimes what we think are mistakes are just the way things are meant to be. You and Betty are very lucky it only took you five years to figure out you were soul mates. It took Brandon and I two lifetimes!”


End file.
